Frustrated Birthday!

Well, May 23 came – nothing happened.

May 26 came – nothing happened.

Remember a week ago from today we went to Labor and Delivery at the hospital.  I was 100% effaced and 2cm dilated. They said I would be back soon.  They said I wouldn’t make it to my doctor’s appointment on Friday. Milton went to work and they changed his entire schedule around so that he could be available if I went into labor. He worked all week.

Friday morning rolls around and Milton and I head to my 8:00am doctor’s appointment.  The cool thing was that they did an ultrasound on Baby Turner.  He didn’t look like he was trying to be bothered but our cutie is a cutie.  I’m not quite sure yet who he looks like.  He is estimated to weigh 6 pounds.

While in the hospital on bed rest all four of the doctors talked about how great it would be to get to 36 weeks.  My ob-gyn said the same.  So, here I am sitting in the doctor’s office just two days shorts of 36 weeks.  I’m excited because I met the magic number of 36 weeks which meant I should be off bed rest. W-R-O-N-G!!!!!!!  She said, “let’s try another week”. Are you serious?!  That’s what you’ve said the past two times I was here.  My birthday was the following day.  I asked if my husband and I could go to a movie.  She said no.  She let me go to church last week, but not the movie?  I’m not sure what the difference is.

We went back home. Most of Friday and Saturday (my birthday) I was very sad and withdrawn.  I felt I had followed all directions to get our child this far and for some reason whatever I was doing just didn’t seem to be enough.  I sulked in my bed for most of my birthday and didn’t want to be bothered by anyone. Milton hated seeing me this way (although he was very supportive) and said “let’s go for a ride and get some sunshine.”  It felt good to get out of the house.

Sunday, May 27 12:03am I start having contractions.  My contractions are usually on a pain scale of 1-10 a 2-3 but now they were more like a 4-5 and four minutes apart.  I call and they tell me to come in.  I really felt like it was finally going to happen.  We go in around 3:30am and they say they want to monitor me for four  hours.  The strength of my contractions decrease some, but I do start having major indigestion, heartburn and back pain.  Excruciating pain.  Like a 7-8.  Milton had to go back home and get me some tums.  Once he came back and I took some I was relieved and was able to sleep some.

At the end of four hours, although I was having contractions every 3-4 minutes, they weren’t strong enough for me to dilate any further so they sent me home.  The nurse once again said it could be any day now. Yeah, I’ve heard that plenty of times.

So now I’m back home, on bed rest and once again waiting.  Baby Turner is doing his own thing at his own pace.  One day my baby prince will come!

My Mom, My Baby, My Church

The past couple of weeks on bed rest have been fine.  Nothing really excited.  Wake up, rest, shower, rest, eat, rest, rest, Milton comes home, rest, eat, rest, sleep.

Although I could have gotten off bed rest at week 34 and 35, at each visit my ob-gyn said to stay on for one more week.  The last time I was told that was this past Friday.  I asked my doctor for an exception to see if I could go to church this Sunday.  She said yes.  If my water breaks in church it must be God’s will! I really look forward to attending church, especially close to my birthday.

My mother passed away six years ago on May 23.  My birthday is a couple of days later.  In 2006 I was looking forward to the Sunday before my birthday because my mother and I were going to go to church and take communion together.   This was an important Sunday because I would be turning 30 years old and my mother would be celebrating 5 years of living with Ovarian Cancer.  Although my mother and I always attended church, rarely did we sit together because she was in the choir.  However, we would always meet at the rail for communion.  It was a very meaningful experience.

Well, that Friday before that Sunday, my mother’s health rapidly declined and we realized she only has days to live. I went to church that Sunday and just cried my eyes out as I realized that she and I would never again have communion together.  She passed away several days later on May 23 (5 years to the date that she was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer).

So, now in 2012, I’m excited to once again go to church the weekend before my birthday.  I was in the hospital for Palm Sunday and Easter so I looked forward to attending. Well, late Saturday night (starting around 1:00am) I started feeling menstrual type cramps.  At times they were ten minutes apart.  Other times I might not have one for an hour. So, I slept it off.  Th next morning we wake up for church.  We eat breakfast.  While I’m waiting for Milton to finished getting dressed, I all of a sudden have severe stomach cramps. Like, really painful.  I became worried that once again I wouldn’t be able to go to church.  Luckily I popped in some Tums and was instantly relieved!

Church was great!  I loved seeing many of the members that have known me since I was young.  I sat through the entire service but went up with Milton to take communion. Once we got home, I took a nap.  Several hours later I started feeling pressure in my lower abdomen – like Baby Turner was trying to set himself free.

Milton and I headed to the hospital. I was once again put on the monitor.  I was having some contractions although they weren’t painful.  However, I was now 100% thinned and 1.5-2cm dilated.  I was given some terbutaline and told they would probably keep me overnight.  Luckily, in the middle of the night, my contractions slowed down and Milton and I were home around 3:30am.  HOWEVER, the doctor thinks Baby Turner will come this week.  I am to return as soon as my water breaks or if my contractions are five minutes apart.  I have a feel Baby Turner will either come on May 23 (the date of my mother’s death) or May 26 (my birthday).  TIME SHALL TELL!!!



June-10-3Our birthdays were 10 days apart so we celebrated together.  We exchanged presents.  I received a pink diamond necklace.  He said he bought it several years ago while in Australia and saved it for the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with – me!

That was June 2009.  We broke up just as 2010 started.  We stayed cordial with each other.  I waited to see if he would ask for the necklace back.  He never did.   Our birthdays come around again this year.  He sends me a “Happy BDay” text on mine.  Although I missed his actual day, I went on Facebook to post a “Happy Belated Bday” message on his wall. But my access was blocked.  I was listed as a friend, I just couldn’t post on his page like his other friends could.

So, I sent a FB email – “Just wanted to wish you a happy 40th birthday.  I was going to post it on your FB page but you’ve blocked me.”  His response – “Thanks.”  I wasn’t sure why he’d block me, especially since I left the relationship, but just felt that it would be best to just ‘unfriend’ him since for some reason he felt some conflict.  I didn’t send him an email or anything, just unchecked a button.

Next day I receive the following message – “Can you send me my chain back?  Especially since we know you are not “the one” and that is the circumstance which I gave it to under. Thanks for the de-friend as well.”

I found the message very interesting.  It’s been over six months and not once had he even thought once about the necklace.  Now this message comes out of nowhere.  So here’s my question to you – how would you respond?
1. Ignore his message and keep the necklace
2. Reply back, “I see turning 40 didn’t make you more mature”
3.  Just send it back
4. Tell him I gave it to my boyfriend’s mother
5. Pawn it and spend the money on a shopping spree
6. Tell him if he wants it, he’ll need to fly to Louisville and get it
7. Ask why all of sudden he wants it back
8. Other

Tell me both what you WOULD do and what you SHOULD do (not necessarily always the same answer).  Should you return all gifts after a breakup or is jewelry a special exception? Like with a previous scenario, I’ve already acted on the situation but am very curious how others would have handled it.

M.Y.  June 2010

Happy? Birthday

Happy? Birthday

June10-1Last week, on May 26, I celebrated another birthday.  I turned 34.  Now usually a new birthday doesn’t affect me too much.  But for some reason, this year was different. I woke up with back pains and I was more tired than usual.  I quickly made an appointment with my chiropractor, but felt if this was the way 34 would be, then  I needed to roll back over and just stay 33.  I then realized that I would be 35 next year which is just one more stepping stone closer to 40.  I’M GETTING OLD.  I’M FEELING OLD.  Ahhhhh!

From there my mind came to the realization that my plan to be married with kids by 30 didn’t come true.  Although there is great potential that those things are in the works, the reality is that they don’t currently exist.  So, while last Wednesday should have been a Happy day, it started in a funk.

As I started thinking about it, though, I realized that everything I saw as a negative, really was a positive.  I woke up sore, because for the past couple of weeks I’ve been practicing my next fitness routine.  I do back tucks and one-arm pushups.  I should be grateful that God has blessed me with those skills and still provides me the strength to do them!

There’s a reason I’m not currently married.  My mother had cancer for five years.  During that time, she became the most important person in my life.  I was in a relationship – with her. God needed me to be there as her support system and I cherish those times we spent together.   She taught me a lot of life lessons that I now can manifest into a marriage.

Kids – I love kids.  I taught 24 every year.  And then, I was able to send them home on the school bus.  God gave me the time and freedom to travel whenever and wherever my heart desired.  Last year I took 15 trips – fifteen!  I have been able to follow my passions , create my dreams and just be me.

I realized that all of our paths are different.  And while mine might not have been the one I planned or “thought” I wanted, it was the one specially designed for me.  I’ve accomplished some amazing things, met some tremendous people and been given some splendid opportunities.   I’m proud of who I am at 34 and can’t wait to see where God will lead me into 35!

M.Y. June 2010

Birthday Giveback

“Birthday Giveback”
May08-3I get to celebrate my birthday, May 26, this year on Memorial Day – how fitting!  My mother passed away two years ago on May 23 (three days before my 30th birthday).  So, for the past two years as my birthday has neared, I’ve also had the blessing of remembering my mother’s life.

If you knew my mother, you knew she was dedicated to the community and giving back to others.  She didn’t care about your age, race or sex – to sit down with her for five minutes made you feel as if you were the most important person around.  I’ve now decided to remember her life each year by giving back to others.

Last year I had two skating parties to raise funds for both St. George’s Community Center and the KY Center for African American Heritage.  I also hosted a luncheon at my work to inform my colleagues, friends and others about Ovarian Cancer.

This year I did a little something different.  My mother was involved in a cancer support group called Ovarian Awareness of KY (OAK).  Many of the people that were there when my mother was alive are still survivors in the group.  I decided to give back to each of them and thank them simply for being wonderful people.  Yesterday, I sponsored a tea for 25 volunteers, survivors and their caregivers at La Tea Da at Dolfingers.  It was such a joyous experience and each lady was treated like a queen.  I also made a small angel to give to each woman and let them know that although times may be tough and sometimes they feel like nobody cares about them, they have made a difference in my life and are angels in my eyes and others.  The angel was small, so I asked them to place it in their wallet.  The next time they are feeling down, I suggested they get it out to remind themselves that they are special and do make a difference.
Although birthdays are supposed to be about celebrating your own life (don’t worry I will try to find the perfect piece of dessert to indulge), we also need to take that time to celebrate the people that helped get us where we are today!

M.Y. May 2008

Birthday 2007


 Thanks to everyone that came out skating Friday night to support charity.  We raised over $1000 for the organizations!! Look for “Skating Part II” on Friday, June 22 at Treo Roller Rink.

Thank you also to everyone that came to the “Lunch-n-Learn” luncheon at my office. This week I celebrated both death (my mother) and life (my birthday) and was unsure how I would handle it emotionally.  Luckily I was blessed to be surrounded by friends and also made some new ones.   I learned that giving back and bringing people together can be a very powerful thing. I was able to realize that we all have our struggles in life, but your faith will pull you through.

M.Y.  May 2007