Last week, on May 26, I celebrated another birthday. I turned 34. Now usually a new birthday doesn’t affect me too much. But for some reason, this year was different. I woke up with back pains and I was more tired than usual. I quickly made an appointment with my chiropractor, but felt if this was the way 34 would be, then I needed to roll back over and just stay 33. I then realized that I would be 35 next year which is just one more stepping stone closer to 40. I’M GETTING OLD. I’M FEELING OLD. Ahhhhh!
From there my mind came to the realization that my plan to be married with kids by 30 didn’t come true. Although there is great potential that those things are in the works, the reality is that they don’t currently exist. So, while last Wednesday should have been a Happy day, it started in a funk.
As I started thinking about it, though, I realized that everything I saw as a negative, really was a positive. I woke up sore, because for the past couple of weeks I’ve been practicing my next fitness routine. I do back tucks and one-arm pushups. I should be grateful that God has blessed me with those skills and still provides me the strength to do them!
There’s a reason I’m not currently married. My mother had cancer for five years. During that time, she became the most important person in my life. I was in a relationship – with her. God needed me to be there as her support system and I cherish those times we spent together. She taught me a lot of life lessons that I now can manifest into a marriage.
Kids – I love kids. I taught 24 every year. And then, I was able to send them home on the school bus. God gave me the time and freedom to travel whenever and wherever my heart desired. Last year I took 15 trips – fifteen! I have been able to follow my passions , create my dreams and just be me.
I realized that all of our paths are different. And while mine might not have been the one I planned or “thought” I wanted, it was the one specially designed for me. I’ve accomplished some amazing things, met some tremendous people and been given some splendid opportunities. I’m proud of who I am at 34 and can’t wait to see where God will lead me into 35!
M.Y. June 2010