Mother’s To Be Day

Today Baby Turner has made it to 34 weeks. Each and every day is a blessing.  Although I thought I’d get off of bed rest this week, my doctor would like to keep me on for another week – so bed rest lives on.  It was a difficult transition at first because I went from being  in the hospital and having EVERYTHING done for me, to being at home and having just the opposite.  Luckily I have an AMAZING husband that has been there 100% of the way and has never complained.  I see how tired he is most nights, and a couple of times tried to help out.  But I was told to lay back down and bake a baby.

This morning, Mother’s Day, I woke up to the following post from Milton on my Facebook wall:

Michelle: I have watched you grow literally and figuratively over the past eight months. A little over a month ago, I got a call saying that you had been rushed to the hospital by ambulance because of pre-term labor. I rushed to the hospital not knowing whether our son would be OK at little over 2 lbs. You were told you couldn’t get out of bed for a month, but you used love, patience, and ingenuity to help our baby grow to more than twice his size. You beat the odds when even your doc didn’t think you could make it this long. All the while, you still ran three businesses from a hospital bed. I know it was hard and we shared a lot of tough times and contractions together, but you learned the great skill every great mom has: sacrifice. Mothers sacrifice everything they have for their kids and you are living, walking (ok, maybe waddling right now), talking proof that that nothing is more valuable. Thank you for giving our son a chance at a healthy life. Happy Mother’s Day, baby. I love you.

Of course it brought tears to my eyes. Milton helps me realize that being on bed rest is not just about being lazy all day, it’s about creating a safe haven for a developing baby.  Seven weeks ago my child try to make a special early appearance.  Seven weeks.  And for seven weeks I’ve helped slow down that process. Like Milton said, it’s the beginning of many sacrifices I’ll make.

Today was somewhat hard for me because I miss my mother.  Both of my parents are deceased and today brings up the realization that neither will be around to raise/spoil their grandchild.  My mother was one of the most amazing people you could meet.  I don’t say this just from personal experience, but everyone that met her said the same.  Even after her death, people were doing things to honor her.  Nobody can replace my mother, but luckily many of her friends have stepped in to do motherly things. Currently a group of them have started organizing a food delivery list so that Milton doesn’t have so much to do after working a 10 hour day (with a two hour commute). They have been a blessing.

What would have made my mother proud is that I reached out to them for help.  As an only child, one my my mother’s largest worries was that I didn’t reach out to people when I was in need and always tried to do everything by myself.  I’ve come to realize, though, that especially once I become a mother, I will need people’s support, love and advice more than ever.  Life is all about relationships.  Some are built over time and some are unexpected. My mother has an amazing legacy because of relationships she established with others.  I think I’m finally prepared to do the same.

Tis the Season

Tis the Season

For some, this has been a great year with a lot of positive life changes and experiences.  For others, it seems to be the extreme opposite.  They’ve experienced personal loss and setbacks and are anxiously awaiting a new year and change.

Regardless of which of these categories you fall in, it’s still a time to give thanks.  The fact that you’re still living and breathing on this earth is reason enough to give praise.  If you’re making plans to eat Thanksgiving dinner with someone/anyone – you are blessed and should be thankful!

Although I love Facebook and keeping updated with my family/friends, there have been a lot of nasty, gross spam images posted on various people’s pages.  Some people feel the need of Facebook is to dog out the people that have dogged them out, but it’s sometimes a little too much.

So, I decided for 90 days to participate in a “90 Days of Thanks” initiative and I hope you’ll join me.  Starting December 1, 2011 and ending February 29, 2012, we are going to spend each day giving thanks for something in our lives.  We often think about the obvious reasons to give thanks (friends, family, job etc..) but when you get past those first 30 days, you really have to think about even the small things around you that you’re thankful for.

Get a piece of paper or a calendar and try to keep track of what you’ve mentioned each day.  If you’re on Facebook, starting on December 1 (Day 1), make sure sometime throughout that day you write “Day 1: I am thankful for ________!”  If you’re a Facebook hater or avoider, this can be a great time for self reflection in a notebook each night before you head to bed.

The more we’re able to appreciate the things/people that surround us, the less we’ll take each other for granted and the more we’ll seek not only to improve our own lives but those lives of the people around us.  The more we spend concentrating on our personal positives instead of being absorbed in everyone else’s business, the more we can realize that until we support others, we’ll never be able to move ahead.

Let’s take 90 days to live life and love life! Make it your gift to yourself this holiday season!
November 2011

Facebook Prayer


 Facebook Prayer

Many of us have this addiction to Facebook and we use it for various things.  If we’re are curious about someone, need a good laugh or are trying to catch someone in a lie – it can all be found on Facebook.

Recently, though, I was part of Facebook being used for something else.  A man.  His name is Anthony Payton.  He played football the years I cheered for the Louisville Fire.  He had an amazing voice and I remember singing to his CD whenever I needed entertainment in my car.  Awesome talent.  Great guy.  Funny personality.

Then there was a post on his Facebook page on August 22: “Anthony was in a serious motorcycle accident this afternoon. He broke both femurs so he has to have surgery tomorrow. They just put pins in to start traction. His arms are REALLY cut up! He’s in bad shape, but stable. He went through the windshield. We need many prayers!!! He’s a trooper! Thank you!!”

And the prayers started.  The next day we heard: “Anthony just got out of surgery and is in recovery. They said the surgery went well! PTL!! If all goes well, he may get one of the rods put in around Thursday. Thanks so much for all of your thoughts and prayers! We greatly appreciate them all!! Please keep ’em coming;-) ♥”

And the prayers kept coming, because the following day we read: “PLEASE pray for Anthony! After surgery last night, he had trouble coming out of the anesthesia. He hasn’t really been responsive. They moved him 2 ICU & put him on a vent 2 help him breathe easier. He is in CT right now 2 find out why he’s having trouble breathing & why he’s not really waking up. I am so scared & need prayers pouring in! I need my husband to be ok. Please pray for him 2 be strong!! I know that he still has such a huge purpose & need him here! Thank you so much!! Love you all!”

It just breaks your heart.  Person after person after person sent out their prayers asking AP to wake up.  Biblical versus were typed.  People posted their favorite songs he performed.  And then this Tuesday there was hope:

“I am cautiously excited about Anthony’s progress today!! He waved, gave thumbs up, and shook his head several times!! He has seemed much more alert! Praying he can continue to move in this wonderful direction!! We have cried with joy today and it’s a wonderful feeling! I’m SO ready to have my husband back!! Please keep the prayers coming!!! We are so thankful to have so many people keeping Anthony and our family in their thoughts and prayers!! It’s means the world to me! Love you all!”

And last night this: “Praise Jesus in the heavens above!!! Anthony Eugene Payton just came off the ventilator!!! Hallelujah!! Miracles are happenin’ ’round here!!! Please continue to send up prayers for his continued recovery! Thank you! Love you all!!”

I learned that Facebook is not the root of all evil and can sometimes be the presence of genuine prayer.  Anthony still has a long battle ahead but it’s great to see that improvements are being made.  Motorcycles – I don’t like them.  Motorcyles – we don’t need them.  Motorcycles – quit taking all of our Black men away.

Mug Shot, Really?

Mug Shot, Really?!
Before traveling to the Dominican Republic, I had my hair braided in cornrows so the heat and humidity would not expose my half natural and half relaxed hair.  It was wonderful to wake up each morning and just be hair ready.  No brush or comb needed.  Just get up and go.  Well, let me correct that.  There were the spritzes of oil sheen in the crevices of my hair that itched and called out my name to be scratched.

After two weeks of braids, it was time for them to come out.  I started unbraiding them while driving down the street.  I finished while watching a reality show on TV.   I didn’t look in the mirror during the process, but once I went upstairs to look I saw a full head of hair – and I loved it.  Although there was no true style, hair products or anything on it, I loved the potential that it could have possessed.  So what did I do?  I took a photo of it and put it on Facebook.  I received some interesting comments –

“Oh my. That could be a mug shot picture!”  “From all the glam pics this is truly different. All you need is a name plate with a number.” “Time to DEEP condition, straighten it out, and trim! Hey now!”

Wow, I was pretty caught off guard by the comments.  Who would have known that a picture I admired would be seen as so horrendous and negative by others.  It wasn’t until I posted a comment about liking the photo that others started writing positive comments.

I hate that so many people see natural hair as such a negative and ugly thing.  It’s a good thing that I don’t do things in order to impress other people or else I would have run as fast as I could to get a “Just For Me” Kit.   By the next morning, my hair was back to straight and I looked “acceptable” again (see below).

I don’t know how people will treat me once I am completely natural and let all my hair do whatever it feels like doing.  Who knows, I may cut it tomorrow.  I may flatiron it forever.  I may rock an afro puff cocked to the side.My hair does not define me.  Whatever I do, I hope people will still love me for being me.


M.Y. June 2011

Facebook Reunion

Facebook Reunion

Apr 11-4I survived my speech last week at Jefferson Technical Community College and everything went well.  I briefly mentioned a Facebook conversation that I had randomly received and here’s what it said (please note: I have never met, seen or heard of the person in this exchange)

Chris Wright March 21 at 2:20pm
“Hi Michelle, You don’t know me but I have to ask you a question. Your name and face kind of flew out at me when I saw it on my FB page and a rush of memories from the early 80′s came rushing back, so I looked at your pics and saw that your mother’s name was Lillian, but saw no pics or mention of your father; was your father by any chance Dr. Gary Yeager who worked at JCC in the early 80′s? If so, I worked with him at JCC during the time that you were born and remember sooooooo many wonderful stories about you as you were growing and what a proud father he was. If not, I so apologize for this intrusion. Please let me know. He was such a wonderful man. ~Chris Wright”

Michelle Yeager March 21 at 2:26pm
“Hello Chris, my father worked at JCC but his name was Thomas (Steve) Yeager. He was there from 1976 until he died in 1993.”

Chris Wright March 21 at 2:34pm
“Steve!! That’s it; Steve!!! I am so, so sorry. He worked with Gary Steedly in the continuing education dept, I was Gary’s admin at time; I mixed up their names. I am so sorry. But Michelle, I have goose bumps. I actually remember when you were born and as you were growing he would come in with some of the most awesome proud father stories. Two in particular that stay in my mind… one, the morning he came to work just laughing so hard because he said that every time he left to go to work, you would start singing “My Baby’s leaving on the train… until he comes back home….” ?? (i can’t remember that exact song, but he was just hilarious and so proud) And then… during the royal wedding of Princess Diana he said you watched every detail and were absolutely a princess and would marry the same way. Oh Michelle, it’s so awesome to have known those stories of your very early years and to have known such a wonderful man; I absolutely looked up to Dr. Yeager as a great inspiration. It’s wonderful to see you now and have those memories. May I friend you on here? My name is Chris Wright and I’m a web producer at WHAS11; that’s how I saw your exchange with Renee Murphy. I’m goose bumpy right now. hah. ;-)

Michelle Yeager March 21 at 3:11pm
“We definitely can keep in touch. He passed away my senior year of high school and my mother passed away from ovarian cancer five years ago so I cherish all stories I hear!
It’s interesting that you mentioned the royal wedding. I am actually getting married the day after Prince William’s wedding and Renee Murphy is my maid of honor”

…..And the conversation continued.  Who would have ever thought that a simple post on a friends page would connect me with someone that shared some amazing childhood memories of my father especially right before I get married.  To the tune of Walt Disney – “It’s a small world after all!”

April 2011



June-10-3Our birthdays were 10 days apart so we celebrated together.  We exchanged presents.  I received a pink diamond necklace.  He said he bought it several years ago while in Australia and saved it for the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with – me!

That was June 2009.  We broke up just as 2010 started.  We stayed cordial with each other.  I waited to see if he would ask for the necklace back.  He never did.   Our birthdays come around again this year.  He sends me a “Happy BDay” text on mine.  Although I missed his actual day, I went on Facebook to post a “Happy Belated Bday” message on his wall. But my access was blocked.  I was listed as a friend, I just couldn’t post on his page like his other friends could.

So, I sent a FB email – “Just wanted to wish you a happy 40th birthday.  I was going to post it on your FB page but you’ve blocked me.”  His response – “Thanks.”  I wasn’t sure why he’d block me, especially since I left the relationship, but just felt that it would be best to just ‘unfriend’ him since for some reason he felt some conflict.  I didn’t send him an email or anything, just unchecked a button.

Next day I receive the following message – “Can you send me my chain back?  Especially since we know you are not “the one” and that is the circumstance which I gave it to under. Thanks for the de-friend as well.”

I found the message very interesting.  It’s been over six months and not once had he even thought once about the necklace.  Now this message comes out of nowhere.  So here’s my question to you – how would you respond?
1. Ignore his message and keep the necklace
2. Reply back, “I see turning 40 didn’t make you more mature”
3.  Just send it back
4. Tell him I gave it to my boyfriend’s mother
5. Pawn it and spend the money on a shopping spree
6. Tell him if he wants it, he’ll need to fly to Louisville and get it
7. Ask why all of sudden he wants it back
8. Other

Tell me both what you WOULD do and what you SHOULD do (not necessarily always the same answer).  Should you return all gifts after a breakup or is jewelry a special exception? Like with a previous scenario, I’ve already acted on the situation but am very curious how others would have handled it.

M.Y.  June 2010