Tag Archives: mother

Mother’s To Be Day

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Today Baby Turner has made it to 34 weeks. Each and every day is a blessing.  Although I thought I’d get off of bed rest this week, my doctor would like to keep me on for another week – so bed rest lives on.  It was a difficult transition at first because I went from being  in the hospital and having EVERYTHING done for me, to being at home and having just the opposite.  Luckily I have an AMAZING husband that has been there 100% of the way and has never complained.  I see how tired he is most nights, and a couple of times tried to help out.  But I was told to lay back down and bake a baby.

This morning, Mother’s Day, I woke up to the following post from Milton on my Facebook wall:

Michelle: I have watched you grow literally and figuratively over the past eight months. A little over a month ago, I got a call saying that you had been rushed to the hospital by ambulance because of pre-term labor. I rushed to the hospital not knowing whether our son would be OK at little over 2 lbs. You were told you couldn’t get out of bed for a month, but you used love, patience, and ingenuity to help our baby grow to more than twice his size. You beat the odds when even your doc didn’t think you could make it this long. All the while, you still ran three businesses from a hospital bed. I know it was hard and we shared a lot of tough times and contractions together, but you learned the great skill every great mom has: sacrifice. Mothers sacrifice everything they have for their kids and you are living, walking (ok, maybe waddling right now), talking proof that that nothing is more valuable. Thank you for giving our son a chance at a healthy life. Happy Mother’s Day, baby. I love you.

Of course it brought tears to my eyes. Milton helps me realize that being on bed rest is not just about being lazy all day, it’s about creating a safe haven for a developing baby.  Seven weeks ago my child try to make a special early appearance.  Seven weeks.  And for seven weeks I’ve helped slow down that process. Like Milton said, it’s the beginning of many sacrifices I’ll make.

Today was somewhat hard for me because I miss my mother.  Both of my parents are deceased and today brings up the realization that neither will be around to raise/spoil their grandchild.  My mother was one of the most amazing people you could meet.  I don’t say this just from personal experience, but everyone that met her said the same.  Even after her death, people were doing things to honor her.  Nobody can replace my mother, but luckily many of her friends have stepped in to do motherly things. Currently a group of them have started organizing a food delivery list so that Milton doesn’t have so much to do after working a 10 hour day (with a two hour commute). They have been a blessing.

What would have made my mother proud is that I reached out to them for help.  As an only child, one my my mother’s largest worries was that I didn’t reach out to people when I was in need and always tried to do everything by myself.  I’ve come to realize, though, that especially once I become a mother, I will need people’s support, love and advice more than ever.  Life is all about relationships.  Some are built over time and some are unexpected. My mother has an amazing legacy because of relationships she established with others.  I think I’m finally prepared to do the same.

Missing my parents and reflections (8 weeks/6 days)

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The IUS Banquet I attended this evening was simply amazing.  The production was over the top and it was a grand way to celebrate 70 years.  I’m glad my mother was able to be a part of over 30 years in the IUS nursing department.  I loved being there to represent her, but missed her at the same time.  I started to reflect on raising my kid(s) without my parents and know how much they would have loved/spoiled Baby Turner.

I also started thinking about the different my parents made in the community and now am doing some self reflection on what I want to do to leave my own personal mark!

My Biggest Speech Yet

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My Biggest Speech Yet!
I’ve been going since I was a kid.  30 years to be exact.
I was four years old when I first started attending because I was FORCED to.  There were no ifs, ands, or buts about it.  But, as time went on, I found that I truly looked forward to attending and would try to re-arrange my schedule in any way to attend.
I’m talking about the Student Acheivement (formerly known as Black Achievers) Program at Jefferson Community College (now JCTC).  You may question why I’ve attended this event for the most part of 30 years.  No, it hasn’t taken me 30 years to complete a degree.  I’ve been a part of the program for that long because my father, the late Thomas Stephen Yeager, created the program and the Black Affairs Advisory Council at JCC.
I can tell you, though, its a very uplifting ceremony and you hear stories of people that have overcome odds to better themselves and further their education.  The past several years there have been guest speakers and I have taken photos for OnyxLouisville.  But, to my surprise, this year I was asked to play a larger role.  I – Michelle Yeager – am going to be the guest speaker.
At first I was on cloud nine to be asked, but then all of the emotions hit me. Here’s a program founded by my father, that I’ve attended numerous times in the audience, that my mother (and then myself) passed out the T. Stephen Yeager Scholarship at and now they are asking me to be the featured speaker at the 30th Year of the event.  Whoa!!
I think for days before starting to write my speech.  I want to make it just right.  I don’t really know what to say.  Do I write about my personal accomplishments and success?  Do I talk about the great influence my parents were to me and the community?  Do I tell a bunch of knock knock jokes and hope they get it?
I finally figured out which direction to go based on a Facebook message from someone I’ve never met….  I can’t share that email with you right now because it’s the basis of my speech.  But, you’re more than welcome to come and listen to it tonight at 7:00pm at the Student Achievement Program in the new Health Science Building at JCTC.  Although I’ve given plenty of speeches, this one feels like the most important one yet – how do you say THANK YOU to people that mean so much to you?!
March 2011

Cracker Banana

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Cracker banana

Sept10-3Banana – I was sitting in the back of a meeting, minding my own business, and enjoying the great dinner they provided from Sincerely Yours.  I’m a lover of chocolate dessert, but the only thing they provided was banana pudding.  I don’t like fresh bananas although banana flavoring can sometimes add a kick to foods.  So, after eating the nicely seasoned chicken and vegetables, I decided to get a small bowl of banana pudding.

The meeting carried on and I decided to take a bite of my dessert.  I had a decent size scoop, placed it into my mouth and was prepared to continue listening.  But, AS SOON AS the pudding touched my taste buds I had an instant memory of my mother.  It was this sudden flashback of the banana pudding my mother used to make when I was a child.  I had completely forgotten that she ever made it, but the second I tasted this pudding – all the memories came flooding back!  You better believe that I went and got another larger portion of the pudding and even took some home to eat later!

Cracker  – It was a typical outing last Friday.  My boyfriend and I were in Seymour, IN and decided to eat dinner at Cracker Barrel.  I’d already had Cracker Barrel twice that week for lunch with some colleagues, but there aren’t many options in Seymour.  We browsed over the menu.  He ordered the grilled catfish and I decided on some pancakes.  We laughed and chatted as we waited for the food to arrive.  Once it did, we grabbed each other’s hands and he said a blessing for our food, families and our relationship.

We continued on eating and laughing.  Then a man walked up to us.  He put his hand on my boyfriend’s back and said, “My family and I saw that you prayed before you ate your food and we think that’s a wonderful thing.  May God bless you both!”  I was taken aback to be complimented on something we take for granted as a regular practice of our day.  However,  it also felt good to be noticed for something positive.  So often we take time to gossip and waste our energy on the negative images and actions of others.  When’s the last time you complimented someone on something you appreciate about them?!

M.Y. September 2010

One Wish

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One Wish

May10-1She’s the only one I ever knew.  The one person that believed in me when everyone else had doubts.  She was the person that felt I could do no wrong, and even when I did she still loved me unconditionally.  She let me know I was special, intelligent, gifted and beautiful.  And she loved to brag on my accomplishments.  She was proud to see me flourish and find my way.  And then May 23, 2001 came.  That’s the day my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer.  In addition to fighting the disease, my mother’s main worry was what would happen to me – her only child.

I didn’t know until years later, but my mother initially kept a journal of her battles with ovarian cancer.  She also talked about overcoming different obstacles.  And then one day, she stopped writing.  The same day she stopped writing in her journal, is the day I moved out of her house and into my own apartment.   I never knew that my move affected her.

For the five years she battled cancer our relationship blossomed.  I made sure I took one day each week to spend the night at her house.  As her health declined I stayed more nights.  As I saw her become more weak, yet still look elegant and a symbol of strength, I knew there were many questions I always wanted to know.  So, I had someone interview her and discuss things like how she met my father, why she chose our church and what advice she has to offer me.  I cherish that video.

My mother passed away on May 23, 2006.  I was at peace with her death because she and I had a special bond that still lives within me.  Since my mother’s death I have made it my mission to give back to the Louisville community in the same way my parents did.  If you knew my mother, she was definitely one of God’s angels sent to make a difference on everyone that came in her path.  And while I will never be Dr. Lillian Yeager, I will continue to strive and make my own personal mark.

This Mother’s Day I ask everyone to do one thing.  Make amends with the ones you love.  We can’t pick our relatives but we can definitely support them and let them know we care. So often we think so much about ourselves and hold grudges against people that have caused us harm.  Realize, though, that nobody is perfect and tomorrow isn’t promised.  Ask anyone that has lost a parent, sibling or child that they never made amends with.   It’s a feeling that can haunt you and one that you can’t reverse.  So this Mother’s Day, reach out to someone and tell them you love them.  Maybe you’ll call your brother that you haven’t talked to all year.  Why not send your childhood friend a text message just to say hello.  And even though you and your mother may fight like cats and dogs (or maybe your father was never there for you) – reach out and show you care.

M.Y.  May 2010

Snow Stress

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Happy Valentine’s Day to all the lovers, those that believe in love and those seeking love.  Remember love exists in many ways so spend this weekend with the people/things that bring a smile to your face!

Snow Stress

Feb10-2

I have a love/hate relationship with snow.  I love it because it is an amazing sight to see.    To see the glow of the snow in my backyard, especially before it is touched with footprints is simply peaceful.  The way the snow sits on top of branches and rooftops looks like the page out of a perfect storybook.  There is also the joy that my job operates on the school schedule, so when they are out – so am I!

And then there’s my reality – the steep driveway that serves as my sole distraction between me being stuck at home and being reunited with the real world.  It’s not a basic, flat driveway.  This driveway is on an incline. If it’s not shoveled, I will either slide right down it or not be able to get back up it.

On Tuesday we had about six inches of snow. As the garage lifted, I knew I was in for my some major work outside.  I HATE SHOVELING SNOW!!!!! Now living in my childhood home, it’s become an instant thought associated with snow.

As I shoveled the snow this week I started to become very frustrated. I thought to myself, ‘whoever prayed for snow, please tell God you’re satisfied and the snow can stop coming’.  I kept thinking about how much I hated doing this.  Life was just so horrible.

And then I had a flashback – my mother and my father used to shovel this same driveway.  Not once did I ever remember them complaining.  I then remembered one particular snow day.  I moved back home for a couple of years after college and was an elementary school teacher.  My mother had ovarian cancer, and had just had some lymph nodes removed from her neck with surgery.  As I slept in, I heard my various neighbors shoveling their driveways one morning.  When I finally got out of bed, I realized the noise that I heard was my own mother shoveling our driveway.  I remember asking her what she was doing.  Her response was, “I didn’t want you to be late for teaching!”  Here is this woman that was battling cancer and just had a procedure done on her neck and she’s outside shoveling snow for me.

At the remembrance of that memory, I instantly stopped complaining. If she could do that for me, I had no reason to complain about doing it myself.  I also realized that I was blessed because she had purchased the most super-duper snow shovel ever invented.  I don’t have to lean over to pick up snow, it’s large enough to shovel standing up.

By now my complaints seemed juvenile and I instead concentrated on the songs on my Ipod. As I got to the last scoop at the bottom of my driveway, I breathed a sigh of relief.  I looked down my street and saw a family outside.  They had built a large snowman and we admiring their finished product. Tis the season to make memories.  I am glad that my temporary negativity didn’t affect that family from creating a new memory those kids would never forget!

M.Y. February 2010