Mother’s To Be Day

Today Baby Turner has made it to 34 weeks. Each and every day is a blessing.  Although I thought I’d get off of bed rest this week, my doctor would like to keep me on for another week – so bed rest lives on.  It was a difficult transition at first because I went from being  in the hospital and having EVERYTHING done for me, to being at home and having just the opposite.  Luckily I have an AMAZING husband that has been there 100% of the way and has never complained.  I see how tired he is most nights, and a couple of times tried to help out.  But I was told to lay back down and bake a baby.

This morning, Mother’s Day, I woke up to the following post from Milton on my Facebook wall:

Michelle: I have watched you grow literally and figuratively over the past eight months. A little over a month ago, I got a call saying that you had been rushed to the hospital by ambulance because of pre-term labor. I rushed to the hospital not knowing whether our son would be OK at little over 2 lbs. You were told you couldn’t get out of bed for a month, but you used love, patience, and ingenuity to help our baby grow to more than twice his size. You beat the odds when even your doc didn’t think you could make it this long. All the while, you still ran three businesses from a hospital bed. I know it was hard and we shared a lot of tough times and contractions together, but you learned the great skill every great mom has: sacrifice. Mothers sacrifice everything they have for their kids and you are living, walking (ok, maybe waddling right now), talking proof that that nothing is more valuable. Thank you for giving our son a chance at a healthy life. Happy Mother’s Day, baby. I love you.

Of course it brought tears to my eyes. Milton helps me realize that being on bed rest is not just about being lazy all day, it’s about creating a safe haven for a developing baby.  Seven weeks ago my child try to make a special early appearance.  Seven weeks.  And for seven weeks I’ve helped slow down that process. Like Milton said, it’s the beginning of many sacrifices I’ll make.

Today was somewhat hard for me because I miss my mother.  Both of my parents are deceased and today brings up the realization that neither will be around to raise/spoil their grandchild.  My mother was one of the most amazing people you could meet.  I don’t say this just from personal experience, but everyone that met her said the same.  Even after her death, people were doing things to honor her.  Nobody can replace my mother, but luckily many of her friends have stepped in to do motherly things. Currently a group of them have started organizing a food delivery list so that Milton doesn’t have so much to do after working a 10 hour day (with a two hour commute). They have been a blessing.

What would have made my mother proud is that I reached out to them for help.  As an only child, one my my mother’s largest worries was that I didn’t reach out to people when I was in need and always tried to do everything by myself.  I’ve come to realize, though, that especially once I become a mother, I will need people’s support, love and advice more than ever.  Life is all about relationships.  Some are built over time and some are unexpected. My mother has an amazing legacy because of relationships she established with others.  I think I’m finally prepared to do the same.

Starting to Get It (23 weeks)


  Starting to Get It

I’m just now starting to understand why (in addition to the time it takes to create a baby) women are pregnant for nine months and the various stages we go through before birth.  Right now I am 23 weeks pregnant and I have 17 weeks to go, although I think Baby Turner will come early since I came into the world a month early.

For most of this second trimester I am tired and sleepy at all the wrong times. Up in the middle of the night, tired mid-afternoon.  I now believe this is happening to prepare me for a schedule with a baby where I’ll have the most unpredictable schedule I’ve ever met.  These months are preparing me for the months to come.  The main difference between then and now is that I am embracing extended naps and resting as much as possible.  I’m enjoying quiet times and sometimes just doing nothing.  My inconvenient sleeping patterns now are just preparing me for life as a mother.

Another thing I am noticing is that I am losing my independence.   Simple things I’ve taken for granted are now becoming more difficult.  A simple trip to the grocery store to buy several 24 packs of water for my fitness studio is not easy.  Lifting them into the cart is difficult, I don’t even try to put them on the belt for checkout, and putting them into my trunk is a task also.  I’ve found that things that I used to be able to do so easy now take effort.  Bending down to lotion my ankles, painting my toe nails or just sitting up require a special prayer.  What I believe, though, is that this is teaching me the value of co-dependence.  I need to learn how to be dependent on others so that I can help our son be dependent on me.  This is rather difficult for the only child in me, but I’ve found the process to be much easier with a supportive husband that wants to help as much as possible.

And a third thing learned is that life will not be perfect.  I often claim “pregnancy brain freeze” when I do goofy things and make odd errors.  Whether it’s forgetting part of a song during my Zumba class or dropping a plate of food, I am learning that things will not always go as planned.  Leaving the house in a timely manner will sometimes get sidetracked and the most random thing can happen at the must random time (and some of it may be so disgusting that we all take a shower and start over from step one.

These are all lessons in life and lessons in love.  Often the things you sacrifice the most for in life are the things you most cherish and embrace.  You’re largest struggles can lead to our largest accomplishments.  Just know that every day in our life and a training day to get us prepared for our given gifts.