Starting to Get It
I’m just now starting to understand why (in addition to the time it takes to create a baby) women are pregnant for nine months and the various stages we go through before birth. Right now I am 23 weeks pregnant and I have 17 weeks to go, although I think Baby Turner will come early since I came into the world a month early.
For most of this second trimester I am tired and sleepy at all the wrong times. Up in the middle of the night, tired mid-afternoon. I now believe this is happening to prepare me for a schedule with a baby where I’ll have the most unpredictable schedule I’ve ever met. These months are preparing me for the months to come. The main difference between then and now is that I am embracing extended naps and resting as much as possible. I’m enjoying quiet times and sometimes just doing nothing. My inconvenient sleeping patterns now are just preparing me for life as a mother.
Another thing I am noticing is that I am losing my independence. Simple things I’ve taken for granted are now becoming more difficult. A simple trip to the grocery store to buy several 24 packs of water for my fitness studio is not easy. Lifting them into the cart is difficult, I don’t even try to put them on the belt for checkout, and putting them into my trunk is a task also. I’ve found that things that I used to be able to do so easy now take effort. Bending down to lotion my ankles, painting my toe nails or just sitting up require a special prayer. What I believe, though, is that this is teaching me the value of co-dependence. I need to learn how to be dependent on others so that I can help our son be dependent on me. This is rather difficult for the only child in me, but I’ve found the process to be much easier with a supportive husband that wants to help as much as possible.
And a third thing learned is that life will not be perfect. I often claim “pregnancy brain freeze” when I do goofy things and make odd errors. Whether it’s forgetting part of a song during my Zumba class or dropping a plate of food, I am learning that things will not always go as planned. Leaving the house in a timely manner will sometimes get sidetracked and the most random thing can happen at the must random time (and some of it may be so disgusting that we all take a shower and start over from step one.
These are all lessons in life and lessons in love. Often the things you sacrifice the most for in life are the things you most cherish and embrace. You’re largest struggles can lead to our largest accomplishments. Just know that every day in our life and a training day to get us prepared for our given gifts.