Milton and I had a great weekend together, mainly because we were able to spend quality time together. I still hate that he has to run around so much doing errands for the both of us but he says one reason he got married is to be the provider and protector.
I was hoping to have some sense of normalcy while in the hospital and today some of those things happened. It started with a phone call from Chenica. Chenica is my AMAZING hair stylist that I’ve had for several years. Many of my friends now go to her also. I knew doing my hair everyday was not something that I could maintain, especially with my hair being pressed flat against a pillow. I reached out to her to see if she could help and on Monday afternoon she stopped by. I washed and conditioned it. Then she blowdried it and put it back in twists. The nurse and cleaning lady (both African American) came in while she was doing it and commented on how much hair I have. Although my hair probably looked very wild while she was blowdrying it, the finished product has made life easier.
Around the same time, Lucinda, the rector at my church, St. Matthews Episcopal, came to visit. She brought not only conversation, but communion. I had been down that I would be missing Palm Sunday and Easter, so I loved that communion could be brought to me. My church has a very special place in my heart. My mother and I faithfully attended every Sunday and many yearly traditions that I look forward to each year are based in that church. Although my mother has passed away, it’s been great to now share those experiences with Milton!
Milton said he had a surprise for me on March 31 and April 7. I was actually very excited about the surprise and had no idea what he was planning. He usually finds amazing restaurants for us to experience so I thought it was either that or he arranged for me to have a massage.
Of course all plans of a surprise were ruined once I entered my new island, also known as the bed. I asked him what the surprise was going to be and he said that my friends were planning a surprise shower for me. Ahh, this made me sad. My college roommate DeShawn was even going to be flying in from Maryland. I guess Baby Turner was trying to attend his own party, but I don’t think he understands that he wasn’t invited!
Well, about an hour after I had my fit about my closet sized room, the door to my room opened and in came my friend Renee with a bunch of baby blue balloons. Shortly after came Tioka with a cake that had a monkey on it. Then Nikki soon followed with her two cute sons. The brought the party to me and I was so happy they did. Not only was it good to see them, eat cake and open gifts – but I was surrounded by three women, each of which has two kids of their own. They are each great mothers in their own unique way and I hope to use a piece of each of them in my own mothering skills.
I am most surprised that Milton was able to keep that secret without me having any clue whatsoever. I am married to a great man and have great friends and for that I am thankful!
If you know anything about me, you know that I am a MONKEY FANATIC! When I say monkey fanatic, I mean monkey fanatic galore. I’ve loved monkeys ever since my youth. I taped photos of chimps from National Geographic all on my walls. I used to want to travel with Jane Goodall. For many years while I was single I even made a monkey Christmas tree where every single ornament on the tree was a stuffed monkey! I just love them!
To my surprise, I had a box delivered to my house from my childhood friend Lisa. It was exciting because 1) I wasn’t expecting to receive it and 2) what was in the box completely made my day. Inside the box was a plethora of monkey items for Baby Turner. When I saw it, I became overjoyed. If you know me, you know that I am usually a very laid back person that doesn’t get excited about much. All of that changed when I opened Lisa’s box. I went monkey crazy! Luckily, Milton has given me full permission to have a monkey themed baby room – HOORAY! I’m not a materialistic person and could care less about name brand items, but I am big is creativity and meaningful things. Opening Lisa’s box was such a joy because I saw that she sent a gift from her heart and that she’s excited that I’ll be a mother!
(For Facebook this week you’re supposed to post the pic of a celebrity people say you favor – mine is AJ Johnson from “House Party”, “Inkwell” and “Baby Boy”) Age No Limit Part II
Research shows that January is the most popular month for divorce. One of the main reasons is because the holidays are over and people want to start the year with a fresh start. I have been both dumped and the dumper in the month of January, so although not divorce- I was/am part of the “new beginnings” club. (I guess it saves some money in February since you don’t have to splurge on Valentine’s Day gifts that either get eaten (candy) or die (flowers) within 72 hours.
A couple of weeks ago I talked about the dating scene in Louisville and how different it is to date in various age groups. Being 33 years old, I can attract men in their 20s (it makes me feel like a cougar! LOL) and also men in their 40s (I make them feel like they still got it!). But as you know- there’s always a story to tell!
Last year my neck was completely locked. I could move every other body part except my neck. It wouldn’t turn side to side and all I could do was look forward. My physical therapist worked wonders, but I still needed a neck brace to help with the recovery. So, I drove to the Gould’s Medical store in St. Matthews. The people in there were buying motorized wheelchairs, butt cushions etc.. But in a corner was this sharp, attractive Black male. As I looked at the brace section, I felt his shadow approach me. He was in town because his mother was moved out of a nursing home and he was going to care for her at her house. (Very commendable).
Long story, short – information was exchanged. Phone calls were had. A “date” was set up to meet for lunch. We met at Cunningham’s downtown. He was funny, but a little too flashy for me. His phone rings and one of his ‘boys from high school’ is in the area and is going to swing through. Sure, whatever. The friend comes in and sits at our table, supposedly they are still the best of friends. As the two of them are talking, I realize that this guy looks really familiar to me. I just can’t put my finger on it.
Where do I know this man from?
Ah – and then it clicks. I stop their conversation and say, “Aren’t you (name of one of my friends) father?” His eyes grow a little wider. It reminded me of the Snickers commercial “Awkward!”
Moral of that story – there’s nothing wrong with dating someone older than you, just make sure your friends won’t eventually be calling you mama or daddy!
This weekend I entered a fitness challenge at the Convention Center downtown. It was completely different than my fitness competitions but I figured I had nothing to lose. There was a series of six events. Each one was timed and you received points based on how you finished.
Lesson #1 – Looks can be deceiving. After looking at the other competitors, I just KNEW I could win the overall. The first event was pull-ups for 60 seconds. I busted out 8 of them real quick, then my body would no longer pull. The judge said “27 more second!” What? I struggled to get one more out. The lady that went after me, she was in her 40s, busted out 13 pull-ups. I was brought back to reality as I started the competition in second place.
Lesson #2 – We all have bad days. I won the next two events (60 seconds of pushups and then box jumps). The 4th event was sprinting with 3 weighted balls. As a former sprinter, I knew this would be my shining moment! I took off with full force, picked up the first ball and watched it roll out of my hands. This set me back several seconds and I actually ended up forth in that event.
Lesson #3 – Support systems are super. While waiting for the last event, the obstacle course, my friends Shannon and Renee (and Renee’s son KB) came out to be my cheerleaders. It was a wonderful feeling to have people on your side letting you know they are proud of all you are trying to accomplish.
Lesson #4 – Sometimes close doesn’t get it. The obstacle course consisted of things like tire flipping, carrying 20 pounds of sand in each hand and jumping over/under hurdles. At the end of my run, I was told I received a 3 second penalty because my tire did not flip completely over the white line.
Lesson #5 – Despite adversities, you can still come out a winner. At the end of the day, I didn’t know how I finished. There were winners for each age group and then the overall. I won my age group, and also the overall! With it came a huge trophy, $200 in prizes, $300 in cash and the title “KY’s Fittest Female”. The title and all of the accolades are great. But as I reflected on the day, I also realized that regardless of the pitfalls that get us down or the barriers that hold us back, we can all still be successful!
When I started training I tried to remain as focused as possible. One of the things I had to do was remove negative energy. In order to do that, I had to separate myself from people that weren’t doing anything but offering trouble.
Some of these people were just acquaintances. These were the type of people that although not around a lot, when he/she is, there’s always some type of drama. For some reason, when you walk away from these people, you feel more frustrated than anything else. They want to gossip about you and everyone else. They’ll smile in your face and stab you in the back within minutes. With these people, I just completely cut them out of my life. Instead of seeing them out in public and acting as if we were cool and carrying on conversation, I now just keep on walking. ‘Fake friends’ are not a requirement for happiness.
Some other people were my relatives. I couldn’t (well I guess I could) just cut them out of my life. So instead, I watched the conversations that I had with them. One of my aunts is constantly worried about any and everything and she was the only person that tried to discourage me from competing. Although I love her as a person, I would intentionally not update her on my progress because I knew support would not come her way. We would talk and I appreciated her calls, I just knew my limitations with the conversation.
I even changed around how I operate at work. Instead of checking my work emails at home on the weekends or at night, I would wait until I got to work. I appreciate my ‘my time’ more and didn’t let things stress me out that could wait until work hours.
Once I was able to rid myself of the negative vibes, I also surrounded myself with positive people. I loved going to the gym and meeting other people equally into fitness. Some of my friends were there with me every step of the way. They became my cheerleaders and biggest fans. On my birthday, I even started a ‘Thank You Journal’. Each night I take the time to write down something positive that occurred that day. It can be something as simple as being thankful for having a great group of co-workers, allowing me to travel safely to Cincy or even be thankful for making a positive connection with someone new. When I got rid of the negative and increased the positive, I found that life felt so much better. I start to further appreciate the wonderful things in individuals which in return makes you want to give back to others. So, if you have people or things in your life that are stressing you out or really have no positive purpose, find a way to separate yourself – you definitely will notice a difference!