How You See It

first 2015 picHappy 2015!

I am blessed to celebrate a new year.   2014 was definitely a year of transition and change. As I thought about all that I experienced in the last 365 days, I also thought about perspective.

We all have our share of ups and downs.  All of us. However, the difference is how we interpret and react to our experiences.  Whether you focus on the positives or the negatives will determine how your story is told.

Below I will share two different versions of my 2014.  Both are true.

VERSION A: If it wasn’t one thing it was another. 2014 started out with being told our son couldn’t hear.  We knew he couldn’t talk, but adding the absence of sound was a double whammy.  Maximus ended up getting tubes and we are still working on improving his speech.  I was pregnant and once again got put on bed rest for the third trimester.  I missed my 20 year high school reunion and a major 2 day concert.  It sucked having restrictions. Being in the Army, we knew this would be the year we move. We found out we’d be stationed at Fort Bragg, NC (also-notoriously-known as Fayette-nam for its high crime rates).  When we moved, I was 30 weeks pregnant and high risk.  Can you say worst move ever?  Countless, thousand-dollar, mistakes by the packing, moving, and coordinating companies snowballed into a mountain of apologies and shattered confidence in the Army’s ability to do the easy stuff.  And, I had to leave behind my childhood home.  My husband, Augustus, enjoys his new assignment, but he works very late hours: On average he comes home around 8:30pm (and that’s after he leaves in the morning at 5:40am.)  Our daughter Liliana was born in September.  She had really bad jaundice and then my blood pressure skyrocketed.  So, what should have been two days in the hospital turned into five.  Yes, that’s 15 hospital meals. When we moved here, I moved away from all of my friends. The ability to meet new friends, while pregnant, then with a newborn and a toddler, are slim to none.  I’m definitely hoping next year is a better one.

VERSION B: Wow! Talk about a year of transition.  We spent New Year’s Eve celebrating that “we” were pregnant again.  After two miscarriages last year, we prayed that this baby would ‘stick’.  We were overjoyed, and Augustus was scared, to find out that we were having a girl. I was blessed to have some amazing doctors this pregnancy. They were able to catch my cervical issue and do surgery so that I’d be able to move with my family to North Carolina.  Maximus had surgery for ear tubes and we are prayerful that they will help improve his speech.  Our move to Fayetteville, NC was very rocky, but we were fortunate to have supportive family make the move easier.  While I moved away from all of my friends, we were fortunate to move to a city where both my husband and I have family. Cousins, aunts/uncles and even my mother-in-law’s twin sister all live here.  It was love at first sight meeting our baby, Liliana, in September.  She has the most amazing smile and bright eyes.  Moving to a new state helped me realize I didn’t need to hold onto my childhood home – so we sold it.  I’m so glad a new family will be able to create new memories.  I’m also glad to be in a position to support both my husband and children.  I’ve met some great people thus far and looking forward to forming new friendships.

Same scenario told from two different perspectives.  Which type of person are you?  Do you focus and sulk on the negative or try to find growth and opportunity in them?  Do you spend so much time looking at the bad that you passing by all the good that surrounds you?  It’s easy to complain, but will you make the effort to reflect, move past the negative, and be optimistic and resilient?

I wish each of you many blessings in the year 2015.  Know that once again we will have our share of ups and downs.  Just don’t let those “downs” hold you down.  Find beauty in the joy that surrounds you and try to help others experience the same.

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Preggo Testing 1, 2, 3 (4 weeks)

October 16, 2011

Negative-less

’Negative-less’

June08-1When I started training I tried to remain as focused as possible.  One of the things I had to do was remove negative energy.  In order to do that, I had to separate myself from people that weren’t doing anything but offering trouble.

Some of these people were just acquaintances.  These were the type of people that although not around a lot, when he/she is, there’s always some type of drama.  For some reason, when you walk away from these people, you feel more frustrated than anything else.  They want to gossip about you and everyone else.  They’ll smile in your face and stab you in the back within minutes.  With these people, I just completely cut them out of my life.  Instead of seeing them out in public and acting as if we were cool and carrying on conversation, I now just keep on walking.  ‘Fake friends’ are not a requirement for happiness.

Some other people were my relatives.  I couldn’t (well I guess I could) just cut them out of my life.  So instead, I watched the conversations that I had with them.  One of my aunts is constantly worried about any and everything and she was the only person that tried to discourage me from competing.  Although I love her as a person, I would intentionally not update her on my progress because I knew support would not come her way.  We would talk and I appreciated her calls, I just knew my limitations with the conversation.

I even changed around how I operate at work.  Instead of checking my work emails at home on the weekends or at night, I would wait until I got to work.  I appreciate my ‘my time’ more and didn’t let things stress me out that could wait until work hours.

Once I was able to rid myself of the negative vibes, I also surrounded myself with positive people.  I loved going to the gym and meeting other people equally into fitness.  Some of my friends were there with me every step of the way.  They became my cheerleaders and biggest fans.    On my birthday, I even started a ‘Thank You Journal’.  Each night I take the time to write down something positive that occurred that day. It can be something as simple as being thankful for having a great group of co-workers, allowing me to travel safely to Cincy or even be thankful for making a positive connection with someone new.  When I got rid of the negative and increased the positive, I found that life felt so much better.  I start to further appreciate the wonderful things in individuals which in return makes you want to give back to others.  So, if you have people or things in your life that are stressing you out or really have no positive purpose, find a way to separate yourself – you definitely will notice a difference!

M.Y.  June 2008