How You See It

first 2015 picHappy 2015!

I am blessed to celebrate a new year.   2014 was definitely a year of transition and change. As I thought about all that I experienced in the last 365 days, I also thought about perspective.

We all have our share of ups and downs.  All of us. However, the difference is how we interpret and react to our experiences.  Whether you focus on the positives or the negatives will determine how your story is told.

Below I will share two different versions of my 2014.  Both are true.

VERSION A: If it wasn’t one thing it was another. 2014 started out with being told our son couldn’t hear.  We knew he couldn’t talk, but adding the absence of sound was a double whammy.  Maximus ended up getting tubes and we are still working on improving his speech.  I was pregnant and once again got put on bed rest for the third trimester.  I missed my 20 year high school reunion and a major 2 day concert.  It sucked having restrictions. Being in the Army, we knew this would be the year we move. We found out we’d be stationed at Fort Bragg, NC (also-notoriously-known as Fayette-nam for its high crime rates).  When we moved, I was 30 weeks pregnant and high risk.  Can you say worst move ever?  Countless, thousand-dollar, mistakes by the packing, moving, and coordinating companies snowballed into a mountain of apologies and shattered confidence in the Army’s ability to do the easy stuff.  And, I had to leave behind my childhood home.  My husband, Augustus, enjoys his new assignment, but he works very late hours: On average he comes home around 8:30pm (and that’s after he leaves in the morning at 5:40am.)  Our daughter Liliana was born in September.  She had really bad jaundice and then my blood pressure skyrocketed.  So, what should have been two days in the hospital turned into five.  Yes, that’s 15 hospital meals. When we moved here, I moved away from all of my friends. The ability to meet new friends, while pregnant, then with a newborn and a toddler, are slim to none.  I’m definitely hoping next year is a better one.

VERSION B: Wow! Talk about a year of transition.  We spent New Year’s Eve celebrating that “we” were pregnant again.  After two miscarriages last year, we prayed that this baby would ‘stick’.  We were overjoyed, and Augustus was scared, to find out that we were having a girl. I was blessed to have some amazing doctors this pregnancy. They were able to catch my cervical issue and do surgery so that I’d be able to move with my family to North Carolina.  Maximus had surgery for ear tubes and we are prayerful that they will help improve his speech.  Our move to Fayetteville, NC was very rocky, but we were fortunate to have supportive family make the move easier.  While I moved away from all of my friends, we were fortunate to move to a city where both my husband and I have family. Cousins, aunts/uncles and even my mother-in-law’s twin sister all live here.  It was love at first sight meeting our baby, Liliana, in September.  She has the most amazing smile and bright eyes.  Moving to a new state helped me realize I didn’t need to hold onto my childhood home – so we sold it.  I’m so glad a new family will be able to create new memories.  I’m also glad to be in a position to support both my husband and children.  I’ve met some great people thus far and looking forward to forming new friendships.

Same scenario told from two different perspectives.  Which type of person are you?  Do you focus and sulk on the negative or try to find growth and opportunity in them?  Do you spend so much time looking at the bad that you passing by all the good that surrounds you?  It’s easy to complain, but will you make the effort to reflect, move past the negative, and be optimistic and resilient?

I wish each of you many blessings in the year 2015.  Know that once again we will have our share of ups and downs.  Just don’t let those “downs” hold you down.  Find beauty in the joy that surrounds you and try to help others experience the same.

Change Your Perspective

Change Your Perspective

     Raise your hand if you’re glad it’s a new year! Personally, last year was a pretty good year for me as we welcomed our precious son Maximus. My husband Milton often sit and says how blessed he is. In his words, he has a great job, a supportive wife and a mini-me son. The more that I think about, the more I realize his life is far from perfect. He (we) have many of the same problems as others around us. The only difference is his perspective.

      *My husband went a private college and law school. What does that equal – high student loans! We’ll probably be paying on them forever. But, instead of moping on what we can’t control, we enjoy the possessions we’ve been able to purchase and cherish those all the more. (I thought I was doing something big when I paid $2.99 to upgrade on Ruzzle!) He sees his blessing in having a job that he enjoys that will help decrease the debt.

       *I was in the hospital on bed rest for over a month and on bed rest total for 10 weeks. That just sucks, plain and simple. But, instead of being a scrooge for the rest of the year and hating everything around me, I instead find a blessing in the healthy birth of our son. He was able to go from 2.6 pounds to 6.7 during that time. Was it ideal? No. Would I do it again if it helped me have a healthy baby? For sure.

       * My son has decided that sleep is overrated and bottles are for the birds. Maximus will kick, scream and holler at the thought of shutting his eyes for an extended period of time. It took almost six months before I was able to get more than three hours of sleep at any one time. And, now he is on a bottle strike. He wants nothing to do with it. Breast milk straight from the source is great, but anything else (to him) is unacceptable. But do you see me trying to sell my son to the highest bidder? Never. He’s our miracle baby and I love, love, love him.

       So this year, try to change your perspective on life. Nobody wants to be around Negative Nelly. Everyone, has some type of struggle. Even those around you that are happy have hard times. But, you have to look past that. Life doesn’t stop just because you have an attitude. Happiness comes from appreciating your blessings. Find joy in the simple fact that you made it to 2013.