Bling Blang Thang

Bling Blang Thang

June10-4Thanks for all of the great responses on what you would have done in the “ex-bling” situation.  I will admit that it definitely took me off guard since it just came randomly out of the blue.  I had various thoughts run through my head.  The first one was to completely ignore the message since I felt that if he truly wanted it back that he would call and ask me for it.   But, unfortunately, my patience wouldn’t let me go more than an hour without feeling as if I should respond.  Didn’t know how to respond, but I did know that I needed to respond.

I first had to think about the necklace and what value it had to me.  I haven’t worn the necklace all year.  I don’t even think about it.  It’s tucked away in the back of a drawer.  It was a very nice gesture on his part while we were together, but I really feel zero sentimental value to it.  However, it was appraised for several hundred dollars and several weeks ago I had considered pawning it so I could upgrade some other jewelry.   I also realized that the way he treated this situation was the way he reacted in other situations in our relationship, which is why I knew he wasn’t my end all be all.

Now, I will admit that, like everyone else, I am no angel.  If you catch me on a day that I have little carbs in my system, I take no responsibility for what I say.  Unfortunately, he caught me on one of those days.  I emailed him the following:   “Right after we broke up I met this amazing guy. I didn’t want to give him a chance because it was ‘too soon’. But I gave it a chance and found how true love should feel.  I found a relationship full of love and void of petty actions.  I don’t know what our future holds, but I enjoy each day he and I spend together. We are headed out of town and then I have a competition. Once I get settled again, I can search for the chain and mail it to you.”  And that was that.

The real ironic thing about the entire situation is that this year for my birthday I received a bracelet from my current boyfriend.  It was too big so he had to have some links removed.  The day he got the bracelet back, was the day I received the email from the “ex”.  Since I tell him any and everything, I shared the story with him.  We both laughed about it.  He assured me that his present was a permanent gift and there was no return policy whatsoever. The only thing I had to do was ‘handle with care’.  Sometimes you just need small reminders to value the treasure the sits in front of you.  Love is definitely more valuable than silver, gold or diamonds.

M.Y. June 2010

Facebook Update

Facebook Update

FEb10-4Relationships are hard enough.  What makes relationships even more difficult is the popularity of Facebook!  I remember when I first set up my FB profile – birthday, work location, favorite tv shows etc. Then they asked for status.  At that time I contently checked single.

Then last year I got in a relationship with someone.  I was ecstatic to meet someone that I was compatible with and happy to have a mate.  But, then that awkward conversation came.  No, it wasn’t who would move where.  It wasn’t how long to wait before meeting each other’s family.  It wasn’t even about pressing the toothpaste from the bottom or the middle.  It was about updating our FB status.  Should we?  Shouldn’t we?  Hmmmm….. We finally decided to change our status to “In a relationship” – big things were happening in FB-land.

The congrat messages were posted on my wall.  People wanted to know more information about the guy.  One friend even called and was upset that he had to find out I was in a relationship as opposed to me telling him first!

So, the year carried on and guy and I did some great things together.   Pics of our events were posted on my page.  He was tagged.  I was tagged.  Life was great.

And then we broke up.  When it happened I didn’t go and boast and brag about it to people.  He and I remained friends and continued to talk. But then I realized one thing – I had to change my Facebook status!  I didn’t want everyone to see “Michelle went from ‘in a relationship’ to ‘single’” on my page so I researched a ways to change it without making it public – and I did.

I thought all was good until a guy interested in me called recently and we had the following convo:
Him:  Is that your ex-boyfriend on your FB page?
Me:  Maybe, does he look like my bodyguard?
Him:  Definitely!
Me:  Yes, that’s him.
Him: There are a lot of pics of you and him on your page and it looks like you’re together.  You might want to look into that.
Me: Hmmmmm

So, I had to go through this mental dilemma. Removing the pics of him is removing many of my memories from last year.  However, I am no longer in a relationship and don’t want it to appear that way.  However, he could have untagged his name from the pics but did didn’t (will this offend him?)

In the end, I realized it wasn’t about the ex, it was about me.  I went online and hit the delete, delete, delete button. Who knew we’d have to breakup in so many ways?

Breaking up is hard enough.  What makes breaking up even more difficult is the popularity of Facebook!

M.Y. February 2010