True Love vs Time

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“True love vs time- your input needed”

Girl meets boy.  Boy meets girl.  Girl likes boy.  Boy likes girl.  Boy tells girl, “Although I care a lot about you, I am not in a place where I can be in a relationship with you. I’m 34, lost my job and I’ve had to move back home with my parents. Please be patient with me.”  Girl runs and tells her best female friends what he says.  Girl’s friends say, “If he really likes you, he’d want to be with you regardless of his situation.”  Girl disagrees and feels they don’t understand.  What do you think?

Your input is needed.  Do you think someone (in this instance a man) can really meet his possible future mate, but not dedicate himself fully because he is not in a place where he is stable and/or feels he can provide all the things he’d like to in a relationship? Or, do you believe that love is love and regardless of what is going on in your life, that when you meet someone that may have potential – you give it a shot?  Or maybe you have a completely different opinion.  Let me know your thoughts.

And let me define a relationship before you email your opinion.  I’m not talking about a booty call on the first of every month or a random trip to the movies when you get bored.  I’m talking about a genuine, committed relationship.  Can you truly date someone whom you have strong feelings, yet be hesitant to fully commit in a relationship until you feel more secure about yourself?  Are relationships about timing or just about true love?  Bonus question: If a man does say he’s not ready to commit, should the female stay around?  Enlighten me people!!

M.Y.  December 2007

A Drop in Self Esteem

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“A Drop In Self Esteem”

Tis the season to be jolly.  Tis the season to be fully of joy.  Tis should be the season to be merry, gay and full of cheer.  BUT NO!!!  Not in Yeager’s neighborhood.  I made a huge mistake.  One that I’ve made before, yet I said I would never do again. I’ve written about this subject before and thought I could avoid it.  But, I did it anyway! I went shopping for a new pair of jeans!

If anyone ever, ever, ever needs something to lower their spirits – just travel to any store and look at the rack of jeans.  Uggg!  I decide to start with House of Denim.  It’s in the name, that’s all they sell.  Surely something has to fit.  I walk in and say “I hate jeans.  I love dresses.  I need a pair of jeans.  HELP”!  The lady laughs and says most people say similar things.  She asks my size.   I have no clue.  Jeans don’t come in simple sizes like a 2,4,6.  Instead they are 25, 27, 32.  Then there’s the cut of jeans.  Huh?  I want the style that fits my body perfectly!  Is that too much to ask?

She magically decides that I am a size 27 and picks out various styles of jeans.  I am sent into the dressing room with 10 different pair.  I become excited because I just know that the ‘right size jeans fairy’ has blessed me with the perfect pair.  So, we start with pair one.  The cut is cute, the color is nice.  My five toes slip through the leg hole, I slide the jeans up my thigh and – stop.  They don’t go any higher.  (straight leg jeans don’t like muscular thighs).  I try on three more pair to only have the same problem.  Why! Why! Why!

With each pair that you try on, you get more and more frustrated.  How does Beyonce rock the cute tight jeans and work it out on the stage and in her videos?  What about all the nice jeans I see out at the parties?  Why not me?  I sigh internally and hope the lady behind the counter doesn’t come and ask how I’m doing.  (the response at this time wouldn’t be pleasant).

On to the next round.  Now, these jeans fit over my thighs and on top of my butt.  However, we now have a major problem.  The back of the jeans stick WAY OUT.  It actually looks like a pitcher.  In my mind I sang, “I’m a little tea pot short and stout.  Here is my handle, here is my spout.  When I get all steamed up hear me shout.  Tip me over and pour me out”.  I didn’t know how to solve this problem so I walked out into the store and pleaded for guidance.  “Ah, yes” she said, “That’s what happens when you have such a small waist.”   She continues to tell me that she doesn’t want to go up a size since the waist would just get larger.  In other words, ‘best of luck to ya sista!’

I visited several more store only to have about the same about of luck.  I have yet to see the fun in searching for the perfect pair of jeans.  I’m not sure if they exist.  I did eventually end up getting a pair of jeans.  The thing that made them even more sexy was that they rang up cheaper than the label read (yeah baby!).  However, I’m not completely sold on them and think my heart is genuinely dedicated to dresses.

I think jeans may be like men.  There are a lot of them around.  Some look good, but aren’t good for you.  Some may be good for you, but are just too smothering.  Some may seem like a great bargain, but quickly fall apart.  Others are just plain ridiculous.  And just like men, every once in awhile you’ll find that perfect one – that you cherish and don’t want to let go!

M.Y.  December 2008

Love Me Some Luther

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“Love Me Some Luther”

My all-time favorite musical artist is Mr. Luther Vandross.  His tunes will sooth your mind and can easily get you in the mood.  My favorite song is “So Amazing”, followed by “Take You Out” and “Dance With My Father”.  I could take an 8 hour road trip and survive on just Luther songs.  Fat Luther, skinny Luther – it didn’t matter.  I love me some Lutha!

I was saddened by his death in 2005.  It made me come to the realization that I would never get to see him live in concert.  Recently there was notice of the Luther Vandross Estate sale.  Over 1000 items from his life were for sale including clothes, vases, art, furniture and his awards.  I instantly researched the information.  I love to collect things and wanted to be a groupie and the ultimate fan.  I needed a little Luther in my life.

Although the auction was in person, I could also bid through the live auction on ebay.  It was an interesting experience.  There is no time to blink when doing a live auction.  I missed out on the first item because I was too s-l-o-w.  You don’t have time to think if you want to bid, you have to know your price and go for it.  I was blessed to be able to win Luther’s 1987 NAACP Image Award for the Album “Give Me A Reason”.   A paid a nice penny for it, but it is Mr. Vandross.   He’s been there for me through crushes, new loves, struggles and breakups.  “Ooh, so amazing, and I’ve been waiting for a love like you-”

M.Y.  December 2007

Color of Winter

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“The Color of Winter”

There are certain colors that are more popular than others during the winter season.  You see more people wearing blacks, grays and neutral colors.  However, there is one color seen on black folks more frequently during the winter months.  This color is ASH (also known as ashy)! It shows up everywhere – on your knees, legs, elbows and hands.  It gets really bad in the crevasses of your fingers or on your ankles.  Some of us even get ashy lips.

But, there is a solution!  Ash does not have to be your predominant color of the season.  There is a great product called lotion that can turn ashy into classy.  But, buyers beware! You can’t just go out and buy any type of lotion.  Dollar store lotion won’t do the trick.  When you slap that cheap liquid on your hands, by the time you walk to the car, it’s already disappeared into thin air and the ash is back.  If lotion isn’t your thing, there’s also vaseline, oils and who can forget the infamous cocoa butter!

Now don’t think I’m high and mighty.  I have been “Queen Ashy” for several seasons running.  I thought nobody could see my legs under my pants so I’d be fine to go out lotionless.  It wasn’t until I crossed one leg over another and my ash peeked out.  A friend wet his finger and wrote his initials on my leg.  Not a good sign.  So this holiday season I am leading the “Ash-free” revolution!  People let’s protect our skin, get the products that last, and show that black (not ashy-gray) is sexy year round!

M.Y.  November 2007

Happy Thanksgiving 2007

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“Happy Thanksgiving”

We all have things in life that we wish we could change.  If only we had (blank) then life would be so much easier.  Sometimes it is easier to complain and it often takes a lot less thought.  However, this week is about Thanksgiving and giving thanks.  I don’t care how horrible your life may seem, there are many blessings surrounding you.  The fact that you made it to enjoy another Thanksgiving is a blessing. What about the simple fact that you have two eyes and ten fingers to be able to read and scan through the newsletter?  Not everyone does.

The holidays can be a time of pain.  Many of us have lost loved ones over the years and this time of year is just not the same.  While I share that pain, I also find joy in the world around me. My past holiday traditions will never exist again.  However, I look forward to one day starting new ones. Sometimes you just have to be patient.

It’s interesting to me that the day after we give thanks for all of our blessings is called “Black Friday”.  It’s sometimes the day we act our worse.  You find people pushing through lines, stealing parking spots, cursing at the cashier and/or maxing out credit cards.  Thanksgiving needs to last more than one day.  We have to do better.  So while you’re out this weekend, remember to give back and appreciate the simple things around you!

M.Y.  November 2007

What’s Your Story?

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“What’s Your Story?”

One of my best friends is known to ask people the above quote.  If you think about it, each of us has a story.  While on my trip, I was intrigued at the lives of the people I met.  First there was Mimi who I met on the van shuttle to the resort.  She’s a red haired painter from Chicago.  She has 10 weeks of timeshares at the Grand Mayan and has been going there for the past 12 years.  She’s loud, proud and knows everyone there.  She and her sister come for the first 4 weeks and the husbands are ‘allowed’ to join them for the rest.  I learned so much about the resort and town in that short ride.

I then met someone I’ll call “Stella”.  Our tables were next to each other for lunch.  She’s a fly sista who is going to permanently move to Puerta Vallarta when she retires next year.  She told me about her male friend that she met there in March who’d been helping her out since her most recent visit.  Then after we bonded while listening to the Toni Braxton CD in the background she felt she could share her secret.  The night before she went out with her friend’s friend to the club and somehow or another they ended up sleeping together.  Stella got her groove back – although now she regrets it.

Lastly, there was Tammy.  She and her husband waited next to me for the shuttle to the canopy tour.  Also with them were her father and his wife.  She didn’t grow up around him because her parents divorced when she was four.  His new wife (her stepmother) was only six months older than Tammy.  It was their first father/daughter vacation together.  After an hour drive to the site, Tammy felt I was now a part of their family and became a sister.  The sexy Mexican guides would tell me where my ‘family’ was when we got separated.

You never know when you’ll cross paths again with someone.  “Stella” and I exchanged numbers and she called the next day to see if we could get together.  (I told her I wanted an update).  Mimi was always nearby at the resort and continued to give great advice through the trip.  Tammy and I have emailed each other since returning to the states.  Life isn’t only about what you do, but it’s also about the impression you leave with others.  The next time you’re in an elevator or just standing next to someone, take the time to say HELLO.  You never know what their story might be or how they could affect your life!

M.Y.  November 2007