Good Man/Bitter Woman

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Good Man?  Bitter Women?

Jan 11-3Someone’s Facebook post –  ”Is it too much to ask for a educated, goal driven black man that takes care of his responsibilities, and is honest and not a cheater….but at the same time is not a lame, can protect me if something pops off, could hurt me but wouldn’t dare dream of laying a finger on me, and can put me in my place when I start talking sideways? Does this person exist?”  Ug!  Whatever!

There are plenty of qualified single black men.   Many are here in Louisville.  They have great personalities, know how to treat a woman and are looking to settle down. But here’s the issue – for every 1 black man, there are probably at least 7 black eligible women.   So, instead of women yapping about the lack of black men, maybe they need to spend their time stepping up their game so that they can attract one of those eligible (and fine) black men.   If all you do is complain about life and love, why would anyone want to give you a chance?  A black man doesn’t owe you anything.

We need to quit blaming the opposite sex and assuming something is wrong with him.  Some women need to look in the mirror and figure out why they haven’t been asked out on a date in years.  Women, give the nice guy a chance.  If you’re truly looking to settle down, you’ll find that his genuine, caring characteristics can go a long way. Men, let down your guard and man up!  Women want to feel appreciated.  Quit holding up the walls in clubs and strike up a meaningful conversation.  Isn’t it also interesting that men look so much more attractive once they are in a relationship? You weren’t interested in him when he tried to be your friend, so quit sweating him now that he’s found someone that appreciates him.

We spend so much time complaining about the opposite sex that we often let someone with great potential walk right past us.  Beyonce and Denzel are not going to enter your life, so quit waiting for them.   Give someone a chance that you normally wouldn’t. Think about the vibe that you put off and try not to bring past baggage to a new situation.  We all want and deserve to be loved.  Black love is in the air – but you have to clear your personal space  before it can enter in.

Arizona’s Tragedy Tragedy

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Arizona’s Tragedy Tragedy

Jan 11-2There was a senseless shooting this past weekend in AZ involving Representative Gabrielle Giffords.  A number of people died and many others were injured.  Since the incident, many political mediums have been pointing their fingers and blaming the ‘other side’ for causing the massacre.  It’s getting out of control and it goes against everything that Gabby Giffords represents.

The night before she was shot (yes, the night before), she emailed Trey Grayson the following:  “After you get settled, I would love to talk about what we can do to promote centrism and moderation. I am one of only 12 Dems left in a GOP district (the only woman) and think that we need to figure out how to tone our rhetoric and partisanship down.”  The way politicians and commentators are acting today goes against everything that she represents and is fighting for.  People need to stop playing the “he said, he said, he did, she did game”.  We all need to watch what we say and how it could be perceived.  There’s one person that caused this incident – plain and simple.

A certain female politician from Alaska may have created a poster with targets on it, however, the accused shooter wrote “Die B!*tch” on a 2007 letter from Giffords.  2007!!!  Sarah Palin was just a regular Jane back then.  If you’ve seen the guy’s mug shot, you can tell that something just doesn’t seem right.

Instead of pointing fingers or planning to boycott the funeral of the innocent – we need to mourn the victims.  Pray for the family of the 9 year old girl (who was born on 9/11/01) that had just been elected to the Student Council.  Pray for the girl’s neighbor that took her to the event and now is haunted by the fact that she lived but the girl didn’t.  Send extra prayers for Senator Giffords who is fighting for not only life but also a normal functioning life.  Even pray for the family of the shooter who is going through so many emotions that they haven’t been able to leave their house.

I have a feeling when Representative Giffords is able to talk, she’ll make a statement about how she’s disappointed in how this situation has brought various groups further apart.  Her mission was to bring us together- her shooting is a prime example of why it needs to happen NOW!!

M.Y.  January 2011

A Gift/A Chance

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A Gift/A Chance

Jan 11-1You never know when one person can make a difference in your life.  You never know when you will be given a chance.  If you’re lucky, you may even be given a second chance.  The thing we have to remember, though, is to never give up. Even when times seem at their ultimate low – there is still hope.

There is a story spreading across the web this week and if you think about the turn of events for this man – it’s simply amazing.  His name is Ted Williams.  Ted is homeless.  He stood on the street corners in OH with a sign that said “I have a GOD given gift of voice, I’m an ex-radio announcer who has fallen on hard times.  Please!  Any help will be greatfully appreciated.  Thank you and God bless you.  Happy Holidays.”

Most us when we drive past these signs, pay little attention to the people holding them.  However, someone stopped for Ted.  And when they did, they realized that he had the most amazing voice-over voice.  I watched the video (see below) and was very impressed.  Ted told how he was a trained radio announcer who got caught up in drugs and alcohol, but that he had been clean for two years.

You’d think it would be cool just to get over seven million hits on youtube, but his life has had more blessings than that.  He has been getting job offers out the wazzou!     An NFL director of post-production said, “My boss said to me: ‘If you don’t get him hired, you’re fired.’ … I can’t make any guarantees, but I’d love to get him some work.”  The Ohio Credit Union League: Also on WNCI this morning, Williams was offered a $10,000 opportunity to do voice-over work. MTV and ESPN also expressed an interest. The Cleveland Cavaliers have even started a website – WeWantTedWilliams.com!

Now, although this week is his time to shine, know that it’s not going to be easy for Ted.   It’s now starting to come out that he has a criminal background.  He’s had numerous theft and forgery charges and in May 2010 pled guilty to misdemeanor theft charges.  He was supposed to be on the Today Show, but didn’t have a valid ID and his address is listed as the “streets of Columbus”.

It will be a long road.  It will be a difficult road, but nobody can deny that Ted has a gift!  I’ll be interested to see how Ted proceeds with his new chance at life.  When the Cavaliers were asked about his background they said, “We’re going to start with our heart first. We’re going to start from the perspective that we think this is an amazing individual who has a lot of components in him that represent who we are and what our DNA is.”  Good luck Ted, make it count!
Click on image below to watch the video
TedWilliamsHomeless

A Nasty Tone/ A New Year

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A Nasty Tone/A New Year

Dec 10-4My Zumba group and I were working out at an upstairs location.  We were grooving to the beats, enjoying ourselves.  I noticed a woman watching us from the back door.  I assumed she was interested in maybe doing a class.   We carried on.  I then noticed her standing at the front door watching us.  Once again, we kept doing our thing.  She finally said “Excuse me”.  I stopped the music to see how we could help her.  With an attitude she said that she had to lock up upstairs.  I told her that was fine and that we would lockup once we finished.  I asked if she minded telling the owner downstairs what she had told us.  With even more of an attitude she said, “Yes, I would mind!”  I was taken aback.   It took me a couple of beats of the songs to get back on track.  We were all surprised with her demeanor but just brushed it off.

Well, I guess this lady was going through something because the next day she came to the facility to give me a card.  She apologized for the way that she spoke to us and stated that that was not the way she really is.  I shared her card with the group.  We realized that everyone has their good and bad days and that her attitude was probably much larger than her interaction with us.

I could have put her on my enemy list, but I did something different.  I realized the value I could give to the business where she works.  I reached out to the manager (and didn’t mentioned the incident) and am forming a partnership with them.  As we enter a new year, think about some of the things or people that have affected you either positively or negatively.  Think about how (or if) you want them to be a part of 2011.  Just remember, though, you can’t control another person’s actions.  If you want someone to continue with you into 2011, remember you are accepting them just the way they are.  It’s not about spending next year trying to change them.  Not everyone should make it into next year.  That man that always hurts you – leave him alone!  If he wanted to be with you he would.  The friend that always lies about you behind your back – leave her alone!  That’s not a true friend.  That person that serves as a source of inspiration for you (even if you don’t know him/her personally) – keep him/her close!  Surround yourself with positive people doing positive things.  Think about all that you want to accomplish, write it down, tell the world and make it happen!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

M.Y. December 2010

Best Gift Ever

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The Best Gifts Ever

Dec 10-3If you’ve read my columns the past couple of years, you will know how much I anticipated one day being able to start my own new holiday traditions similar to what I was able to do with my parents before they passed away.  While I greatly appreciated being able to eat at my friends houses, I longed for something to call my own.

And so this year some traditions began.  Three weeks ago Milton and I decided to decorate our own Christmas tree.  Gone were my monkey decorations (which I now refer to as the bachelorette tree).  We found ourselves walking up and down the aisles of Target to find ornaments and tinsel that matched our style.  We found a red “2010 Christmas” ornament and bought two stockings – each with the letter M on them.

It was great how we organized our little system of hanging up the ornaments.  While it was too cold to hang decorations outside on the bushes, we instead put electric candles in the windows.  I was amused when Milton came back downstairs with one candle.  He said, “I didn’t put this candle up because it’s in the same room as your wedding dress.  I know that room is off limits!”

All of the decorations were up and we were proud of ‘our first Christmas tree’.  We (well at least I) had worked up an appetite and were headed out the door.  Before I could put on my shoes, Milton says “Hold on, there’s one thing missing. “  He walks out to his car and I’m standing there clueless and to what he’s talking about.  He walks inside carrying a big red box and two smaller gray boxes.  I realize that they are my Christmas presents!  They have now been sitting under the tree for three weeks.  Although I have no clue what is in them, they are the best gifst ever!

DUI and I

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Dec 10-2My fiancé and I had just returned from an amazing trip to North Carolina.  He lives in Indianapolis about 45 minutes from the airport.  It had been snowing so it took us a little bit longer to get home.  We were only about a block from his house and were sitting at a stop light.  All of a sudden – BAM!!  A car ran into the back of us.  Before Milton could explode, I suggested he calm down, stop the car, get out, check everything and get the driver’s information.

Luckily there was no damage to Milton’s or the other driver’s car.  Milton suggested I get back in the car to stay warm.  He stayed outside to continue talking with the lady and get her license plate # and all other info.  When he got back into the car, he was on his cell phone and LIVID!  This lady was drunk!!  Milton immediately called 911 to report the incident.  He noticed the lady had a ½ empty bottle of brandy on her passenger seat.

Once the police came, we were told we could leave since there were no injuries and no car damage.  We went on our way to the grocery store and left 30 minutes later.  We drove back to the scene and saw the lady’s car sitting on the side of the road, the police car had its lights on and the lady was sitting in the back of the police car.

Turns out, homegirl had a blood alcohol level of .24!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Not good.  So not good.  None of this made for a happy fiancé.  BUT HERE’S THE THING – Milton and I stopped a drunk driver.  Yeah, she hit us.  But, there was no damage to our car.  My back started hurting a couple of hours later and I’ve been seeing my chiropractor and am feeling better. Think about if she would have kept driving.  She could have serious injured or killed someone.  She could have killed us! As much as we were inconvenienced for that hour on Sunday, the experience ended up being a blessing in disguise.  The lady was arrested for public intoxication, driving under the influence and reckless driving.  The only Christmas she ruined was her own.  And, although I had some back pains, it was the perfect reason to get some good massages once we arrived home!!!

M.Y. December 2010