Tag Archives: perspective

Watch the Signs

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Watch the signs

Dec09-2My aunt had a heart transplant while I was in college and since then she hasn’t traveled much.  I usually try to go visit her in Fayetteville, NC a couple times of year.  That heart is now 12 years old and declining rather quickly.   I planned a quick day trip to see her – out on Monday, back on Tuesday.

Monday morning I parked my car at work and my colleague dropped me off at SDF.  I had already printed out my boarding pass the day before and headed to the security line.  As I reached in my purse for the pass – it was not there.  Hmmmm.  No problem, I thought, I’ll just go to the ticket counter to print out another.

The US Airways lady at the desk asked where I was going.  Tap, tap, tap.  “Your Charlotte flight is cancelled.  And, so is your flight to Fayetteville.”  I ask why.  She says fog.   She puts me on a Delta flight two hours later. I call my colleague to turn back around and take me to the office for two hours to waste time.

Before leaving again I get the inclination to check the Delta flight online.  The 11:30am flight was now delayed until 12:05.  Not bad, EXCEPT that only gave me 12 minutes to make my connecting flight in ATL.  I called the Delta dude and told him what I discovered.  He said, we’ll you might make.  I kindly told him that I’m not about to fly to ATL for a flight that I might make, especially in the Atlanta airport!  He then graciously offered for me to wait in ATL for three hours for the next flight after that.  No gracias, senor.

I realized that it just wasn’t meant for me to fly on Monday.  I called US Airways and asked if I could just move my entire itinerary to Tuesday-Wednesday instead.  She said sure, made the changes and I felt much better.  I complimented her on her great customer service and asked to brag on her to her supervisor.

My trip was great.  My relatives were excited to see me. Sometimes we just need to follow our gut and go with our feelings.  Just because we want something, doesn’t mean that it’s good for us.  Following my feelings with flying was easy to do.  However, it’s much more difficult to do when it comes to matters of the heart.  We all say we want ‘signs’ to know what paths to follow in life – but when they are there, do we fully acknowledge them?

M.Y.  December 2009

I’m Not Complaining/I’m Just Saying

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I’m Not Complaining/I’m Just Saying!

Jan09-5* I lost all of my Insight services on Wednesday morning (no cable, internet or phone).  However, I still had power.  When I called Insight to see how long it may be out, I was told that their priority was to first go to the people that didn’t have power.  My question – what can someone without power do with cable?
*Everyone called into work last week saying they couldn’t make it in because of the bad weather – so why was the UL basketball game a packed house?  Really!?

I’m Not Complaining/I’m Just Saying!
*Everyone talked about rushing to the grocery store to get bread and milk.  Why are these two items such necessities?  If you didn’t use bread on a regular, what purpose does it serve in the snow?  Same things with milk – wouldn’t water serve you better in a potential power outage?
*My neck was killing me from shoveling snow and moving furniture.  However, I was unable to get a chiro appointment right away.  I needed some temporary relief so I used a battery operated device to massage it. (Imagine that visual!)

I’m Not Complaining/I’m Just Saying!
*Without cable, I watched DVDs.  In the movie ‘Coming to America’ Arsenio Hall plays a pastor that hosts Black Awareness Week.  Why does he praise the Lord and then get hot and bothered by the swimsuit pageant contestants all in the same breathe?  Then after a little more worshipping, he introduces the band ‘Sexual Chocolate’.  Something just isn’t right!
*I woke up in the middle of the night and noticed I had a missed call at 11:20pm.  I looked at the clock and it said it was 12:00.  I went on and called him back.  He answered sounding half sleep and asked if I were okay.  I said I was just returning his call.  He said he called earlier when he left work.   Still unsure of why he sounded odd, I rolled over and looked at another clock.  This clock said 2:30am.  (I originally looked at the clock on the Insight DVR box that had read 12:00 for the past three days).  I quickly apologized and said I’d call him back at a more reasonable hour!

I’m Not Complaining/I’m Just Saying!
*When it’s 2:30am, you’re hungry and you’re in training with limited options for food, egg whites are a good option.  However, DON’T crack the entire egg on your stovetop instead of in the skillet.  It causes a horrible smell!
*Also in ‘Coming To America’, Soul Glo is a sponsor of the Black Awareness Week.  Why didn’t pastor Arsenio take a couple of free sprays from one of the sample bottles?  His curl was screaming out ‘FEED ME!’

M.Y. February 2009

From a Man’s Perspective

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‘From a Man’s Perspective’

Aug08-3I’m yielding my column this week to my counterparts and letting the man’s voice come through.  I spent the past week interviewing men on their perspectives on dating.  These were all men that I have never dated and the majority were men that I have never even met.  The only things these men had in common are that they are OnyxLouisville readers and they are all 30-39 years old (and single).  I’d love to hear your perspective on this as well, so please click on the message board at the bottom to give your input.

How much weight is in a date?  First of all, a date is simply a date and nothing more.  Going on one date does not mean that you are exclusive with that person.  Most men date more than one person for an extended amount of time until they feel they are ready to settle down.  It may take several dates before a man knows that he is truly interested in getting to know you better.

In the club? The men also stated that when they go to out and meet a woman, they are generally interested in getting to know her better and not just take her home.  However women, be careful of the late night breakfast line!  Most men will take your number, but if they meet someone else that same night, will get that number also.  It’s all about options to find the right one.

But how do you know if he’s interested?  If a man is interested, he will call you on a regular basis.  He will initiate asking you to do things and inquire about you and your life.  ‘I will make her my hobby to learn, study and have fun with and hopefully love may grow.’  When he is not interested, he may call once a week (usually out of boredom) or hang out with you just because he needs something to do.  Some men are straight forward and will tell the person he is not interested while others will just let the situation slowly fade.

What’s attractive?  Men love a women with great style, personality and a sense of  humor.  They also like a great hairstyle.  Men dislike women that are loud, burp, curse a lot and don’t take care of themselves.  Most don’t mind a woman with one child.   But having a van full of kids changes the story.

What about sex?  The average amount of time and man will wait to have sex with someone is two to three months.  Few would have sex on the first date, but others would be more cautious.  Some (not most) will even have sex with more than one person.  It is not until a conversation is had that a man and a woman enter into an exclusive relationship.  I asked one guy why sex and exclusivity are not synonymous.  His answer was simple, but true – greed!

Pet peeves about dating in Louisville?  Many men said that women want men to bring a lot to the table, yet don’t have anything to offer in return.  Some women are stuck up – when a man approaches them with a simple hello, women give a fake smirk and turn their back. Women are also bringing baggage from previous relationships and automatically assume each man will treat her the same way.  Men want women to put more trust into the new man instead of making the man prove his worth.   Louisville is a haven for dating someone that your friend has dated.  While this can often be frustrating, most men would still give a woman a chance that only casually went on a date with one of his friends.

So, what’s all this mean?  Since I don’t know most of these men, yet assume their answers are all true, I do think men are really looking ultimately to settle down.  I think they take a different approach than most women.  However, it all boils down to their actions.  Men (and women) can say all that they want to, but it’s their actions that truly tell you what’s going on.  Who initiates most of the conversations?   Is he spending quality time with you or always giving you an excuse that he’s busy?  Is she showing you that she cares or solely waiting for you to do something for her?  If he/she hasn’t told you it’s exclusive, then don’t make the assumption!

As we enter a new month, I encourage everyone to participate in OnyxLouisville’s ‘DATE ONLY ONE PERSON’ month.  Try it.  For the month of September focus your attention on only one person and see where the situation can lead.  Trust me, you won’t miss out on anything, but could gain true romance!  You have a little over a week to take applications and determine the winner!  I can’t create the DATE ONLY ONE PERSON month, unless I participate so I guess I’ll end so I can get started!

M.Y. August 2008

We All Matter

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“We All Matter”

June08-4I went to San Diego for a conference recently and our hotel was located right on a marina.  It was amazing to look out of my hotel room window and see the sun rise each morning above all of the boats.  One afternoon I decided to rent a kayak to explore all that the marina had to offer.

I thought I’d be able to take my camera with me until the dude advised me not to take it in case I flipped over.  Huh?  Flip over?  That sounds a little scary.  He said there was only a ten percent chance that would happen.  So, I put on my life vest and went on my way.

It was a pretty relaxing experience to be in this body of water surrounded by all types of things.  I first encountered a barge.  Chillin’ on the barge sat a large number of seagulls.  Next to them were sea lions that made enough noise to let everyone know they were in charge.  It was cool to kayak right next to them and just stare in amazement.

I then moved on out further into the marina and passed various boats, yachts and tour boats.  I laughed at the various names “Only Child”, “Hidden Pleasure”, “In Charge”.  Some were stationed in place, while others were floating around.

The wonderful thing I encountered was that although I was just this little person in this little kayak, I gained the same amount of respect as the larger yachts.  We all had to share the same space.  Even as I again paddled close to the barge, some of the sea lions jumped in the water in front of me.  At first I thought they’d confuse my black skin as being one of them.  However, they just swam in the water minding their own business.  It was all about co-existing together.

The entire experience reminded me that this was a reflection of life.  So many of us feel like the little people in the world. But what we fail to realize is that our contributions are still important.  When the tour boats went past me, people waved at me because they were excited to see me in the water.  The sea lion didn’t care who was around because he was going to enjoy life regardless.  We are all pieces of the puzzle.  If your piece isn’t included, the puzzle is not complete!
M.Y.  June 2008