Tag Archives: mother

It’s All in the Numbers

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It’s All In The Numbers

May09-5So this past weekend was an interesting one.  Saturday was my first National fitness competition.  I was nervous about it.  I also had all of these other emotions running through my head because the weekend represented so much more.

May 23, 2009.  This day represented the 3 year anniversary of my mother’s death.  When my mother passed away in 2006, it was exactly 3 days before my 30th birthday (May 26).  If both of my parents would have been alive then, it would have also been 3 days before their 33rd wedding anniversary. (Yes, I crashed their 3rd wedding anniversary by being born a month early).

So here it is 3 years later on May 23.  This is the anniversary once again.  Now, it’s 3 days before I turn 33.  Yeah that’s a lot of threes!  If you caught up and understood all of it, you’re doing good things this morning.

While training for my competition, I continually wore a teal bracelet that says “OverCome” which represents Ovarian Cancer.  This competition was dedicated to my mother and I wanted to do well.  I didn’t know how I’d be emotionally on that day, but wanted to do my best.

The morning judging started out well – until my music skipped in the middle of my routine.  Although the crowd encouraged me to keep going and clapped at the end, I was frustrated that I wasn’t able to perform it the way it should have been.  Luckily, the judges let me perform it again at the end of the other competitors.  By the end of judging, I had no idea how I placed.

Since this was a National contest, there were many talented women there.  I was amazed at some of the routines and found some moves I will try to incorporate into my future performances.  Awards were given out that night.  I set a goal for my placing and accomplished it.  I walked away with a great National ranking and thought it was pretty interesting that my placing went right along with the same number that represented that entire weekend! pics/video here

(thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes!)

M.Y. May 2009

Birthday Giveback

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“Birthday Giveback”
May08-3I get to celebrate my birthday, May 26, this year on Memorial Day – how fitting!  My mother passed away two years ago on May 23 (three days before my 30th birthday).  So, for the past two years as my birthday has neared, I’ve also had the blessing of remembering my mother’s life.

If you knew my mother, you knew she was dedicated to the community and giving back to others.  She didn’t care about your age, race or sex – to sit down with her for five minutes made you feel as if you were the most important person around.  I’ve now decided to remember her life each year by giving back to others.

Last year I had two skating parties to raise funds for both St. George’s Community Center and the KY Center for African American Heritage.  I also hosted a luncheon at my work to inform my colleagues, friends and others about Ovarian Cancer.

This year I did a little something different.  My mother was involved in a cancer support group called Ovarian Awareness of KY (OAK).  Many of the people that were there when my mother was alive are still survivors in the group.  I decided to give back to each of them and thank them simply for being wonderful people.  Yesterday, I sponsored a tea for 25 volunteers, survivors and their caregivers at La Tea Da at Dolfingers.  It was such a joyous experience and each lady was treated like a queen.  I also made a small angel to give to each woman and let them know that although times may be tough and sometimes they feel like nobody cares about them, they have made a difference in my life and are angels in my eyes and others.  The angel was small, so I asked them to place it in their wallet.  The next time they are feeling down, I suggested they get it out to remind themselves that they are special and do make a difference.
Although birthdays are supposed to be about celebrating your own life (don’t worry I will try to find the perfect piece of dessert to indulge), we also need to take that time to celebrate the people that helped get us where we are today!

M.Y. May 2008

In Her Shoes

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In Her Shoes

Feb08-4Late last summer, I received a phone call from The Center For Women and Families.  They wanted to honor my mother at their annual “Women of Distinction” banquet and wanted me to accept the award in her memory.  I instantly agreed.  For the next several months I collected various artifacts, pictures and footage of my mother for the video they would compose.  At times it was stressful to think about what she would have wanted said/shown about her for the award.

I didn’t honestly realize the magnitude of the award until a couple of weeks before the presentation.  In the 20 years of the award, my mother was the first woman to be honored posthumously.  If only it were that simple. With talks of her and the wonderful contributions she gave to our society, ALSO came this talk about this fantastic daughter that she has who is following in her footsteps and giving back to the community in her own ways.  During those weeks, with each mention of my mother’s award came words about me and the similar characteristics she and I share.

My uncle drove down from Michigan to be my official escort for the program. I knew I in some way wanted to physically represent my mother at the banquet.  So, I put on a pair of her gold shoes and matched it with her gold earrings.  I was literally in her shoes.  If you know me, you know I’m not one to easily tear up and get emotional.  However, as I stood in front of the thousand seated guests and Denise Troutman-Vasquez made comments about my mother (and then me) I realized that this was the official passing of the torch between my mother and I.  It was an emotional and spiritual moment.  I came close to breaking down in route to the front, but I held my head high with the dignity and grace my mother always showed.

The banquet was beautiful and many of my mother’s closest friends were able to attend.  The video they made of my mother included an interview she recorded less than a month before she died.  I wasn’t sad while watching it, I smiled with pride.  I favorite moment of the video was the footage they showed of she and I doing the electric slide.  Her memory lives on and my life continues.  I would say that I have large shoes to fill, but actually they are just the right size!!!

M.Y. February 2008

Balloons

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“Balloons”

While driving to work last week I was mesmerized by the balloons in the sky.  There were a plethora of them and I admired the uniqueness.  Although they were very diverse, they were also very similar. I began to look more closely at their detail.

I started thinking about my life and the lives of other people in general.  We all have different experiences and I truly believe that we were each given our individual experiences for a reason.  In my mid to late 20s I saw several folks getting engaged, married or having kids.  I would wonder “why not me?”  As time went by, though, I realized why it wasn’t my time then.  My mother became sick, and, as her only child, I was able to fully commit to caring and being there for her in any way possible.  I feel my purpose during that time was to be focused on her and she and I developed a much stronger relationship during that time.  I’ve also had some great opportunities that I have been able to fulfill because of my current situation.

I also realize that nobody has a perfect life.  We often envy those that have things we don’t have, yet we rarely stop to think about some of the difficulties and pains that come with that life.  Whether it’s finances, physical attributes, marital status, kids, educational attainment or careers, we need to praise each other for the things we each have accomplished.  My friends (who really won’t be old and wrinkled at the age of 80) and I talk all the times about our lives.  Although similar in age, our paths have been completely different.  When I go to sleep each night I pray for both my successes and limitations.  I also do the same for my family, friends and even those I don’t know.  I end with an inspirational piece entitled “The Cross Room”.

The Cross Room

The young man was at the end of his rope.  Seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees in prayer.  “Lord, I can’t go on, he said.  “I have too heavy a cross to bear.”  The Lord replied, “My son, if you can’t bear its weight, just place your cross inside this room.  Then open the other door, and pick out any cross you wish.”

The man was filled with relief.  “Thank you, Lord,” he sighed, and he did as he was told.  Upon entering the other door, he saw many crosses, some so large the tops were not visible.  Then, he spotted a tiny cross leaning again a far wall.  “I’d like that one, Lord,” he whispered.  And the Lord replied, “My son, that is the cross you just brought in.”

M.Y. October 2007

I Was a Runaway

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“I Was a Runaway”

When I was younger (and maybe even still today) I was a ‘goody-two-shoes’.  I tried to do right in everyone’s eyes and sought to be the best.  My parents often pushed me to get involved with things that I thought were ridiculous and a waste of my time.

In elementary school there was something I disagreed with.  I yelled at the top of my voice that life wasn’t fair and that I was leaving.  I stomped upstairs (“bam, bam, bam”), got a small suitcase and packed my things.  I WAS RUNNING AWAY! “I’LL SHOW THEM!!” I thought to myself.  I opened the garage door and slammed it behind me as I left the house.

Within three steps I realized how stupid I would look walking down my street with a suitcase.  What if my neighbors saw me?  I do have an image to uphold.  Where was I really going to go? So what did I do?  I walked ten steps onto my front porch and squatted by the door.  Two minutes later, I see my father storm out of the garage door and watch as he walks down the street looking for me.  I hear him call my name several times and I just sit there watching.

Needless to say, I have no idea what happened once he walked back to our house and saw me sitting there.  That memory has been permanently erased from my brain.  Over timed, I learned that  my parents actually had good intentions for my well being and upbringing.  I am blessed for many of the experiences they ‘made’ me do and have become a better person because of them.

M.Y.  August 2007

My Favorite Teaching Moment

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“My Favorite Teaching Moment”

On May 1, 2001 I received a message in my school mailbox that said “Cortney’s mom died.”  I hadn’t even known that her mother had been sick (she had cancer).  I tried to be there as much as possible for her during that time. She was only six years old.  On May 22, 2001 we had our award’s ceremony for first graders.  Many families of my students were there.  They sang and performed the song “That’s What Friends Are For”.  After the ceremony everyone went around to show their families their awards.  Cortney, rightfully, became sad because her mother was not there.  She stayed close by my side. I don’t know why it happened, but this video shows what I was moved to do.

(Click on the photo to watch the video of my favorite teaching moment!)

*“That’s What Friends Are For” has become one of my most memorable songs. I was honored to be able to be there for Cortney.  The ironic thing, though, is that I was absent the next day (May 23, 2001).  That is the day I was in the hospital and had to tell my mother that she had been diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer.  I was devastated. Although I didn’t want to return to school the next day, it was the last day of school and I felt I owed it to my students. I returned to school on May 24 and the happiness and smile that usually existed was far from present.  The ONE THING that got me through that day was my students making a circle around me and singing “That’s What Friends Are For”.

Teaching is so much more than lessons in a book.  It’s about making a difference. It’s a hard job, but it’s also a very rewarding job.  Until you lives in the shoes of a teacher you will never know the joys of learning, the fear of failure and the potential to mold our future.  Please take the time to thank each and every teacher you know!

 

M.Y. August 2007