Tag Archives: relationships

The Good, the Bad and the U-G-L-Y

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‘The good, the bad and the u-g-l-y’

Aug08-2I learn a lot from my married friends and vice versa.  They find both excitement and humor in the happenings of today’s single world.  Who needs reality tv when you can just talk about what you did over the weekend?Here are some of my recent adventures. Names have been changed to protect…. (well not really to protect anyone, but nicknames sound much better).
‘Mr. Out of Town’
The good:  He took me on a tour of San Diego so I could see all the sights that I didn’t get to see while at my conference.  The bad:  He chose to see the movie ‘Don’t Mess with the Zohan’ (it wasn’t that bad of a movie).  The ugly:  While pulling into the parking spot at the theatre, I hear a screech sound.  We get out and there is a large white line all along the passenger side of his black Navigator from where his car hit the pole. (He actually had a good attitude about it and didn’t let it bother him the rest of the night)

‘Mr. Executive’
The good: while at a competition out of town, he offers to buy me a hotel room (one that doesn’t include him) so that I won’t have to drive home late at night.  The bad: he leaves my place and once arriving home out of town says he thinks he left his credit card holder at my house.  The ugly: I find the card holder and happen to glance at his driver’s license (I was curious) – only to discover that he is five years older than he told me.  (Why lie?  Is 39 really that different than 44?)

‘Dr. Ho’
The good: we attend an outdoor concert together and share our first kiss while slow dancing and being serenaded by a classic song.  The bad:  On our first date, he randomly, out of the blue, feels the need to tell me he hasn’t been circumcised.  The ugly:  After several more dates he tells me that he wants to take about six months to get to know me, however, if it were up to him, we’d be having sex since day one. (Wow, some thoughts are much better kept on the inside – and from a distance!)

‘Young Ivy League’
The good: Although younger in age, he’s a Harvard grad with a lot going on for him.  The bad:  We know some of the same people, yet many people said they question his character.  The ugly: On a ‘date’ he takes me to a car wash – in an alley – in a guy’s garage – a garage filled with about 20 dudes – all of which are smoking and drinking – and he pulls out a beer and asks if I want one. (I am not your hommie from the hood!)

M.Y.  August 2008

The Dating Game

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“The Dating Game”
Aug08-1I HATE the dating game because that’s really all it is – a game.  I took a short break from figure competing  toward the end of May and also actively jumped back into the dating scene after a lengthy hiatus.  It has been an interesting experience and one that I can say I don’t miss.

First let me explain my dating philosophy – 1. You meet various people and ‘hang out’ with them.  2. You find someone you’re interested in, and you exclusively date that person.  3. You like him/her, he/she likes you and you establish a relationship.

In June, I met a plethora of nice, single men in some of the most random places (I attribute it to the short haircut!)  Examples: I met a flight attendant from VA at my gym, I met a guy from Louisville at the airport in Denver, a guy from Cincy at a competition, one online, one person was introduced through a mutual friend -.  None of them were men I met in the club.  It was great to have multiple dates in one week and meet some wonderful men doing great things with their life. However, at some point emotions get involved and the game gets more intense.

Some of these men  developed feelings for me.  For some odd reason, one guy thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread.  And while I think he’s a nice person, that’s where it stops.  I enjoy the conversation but don’t see him as the next “Mr. Yeager”.  For the most part I’ve been just enjoying the ride trying to see where all of these situations could lead me.  There were a couple of times where I thought I’d move to phase 2 with a gentleman, but I think it was just gas since the thought didn’t stay around too long.

Also, Louisville is such a small place, especially for black young professionals.  There is a great chance that the person you date has either dated one of your friends or at least someone you know.  If you’re both in the ‘hanging out’ phase, you run the risk of both being out to the same movies or a restaurant (on dates with other people).  And timing also plays a major role.  If I would have met my “Mr. Right” back in March, I wouldn’t have given him the time of day because I was constantly with my man “gym”.  You have to BOTH be in the right place at the right time in order for it to work.

Everyone comes into your life for a reason.   I am blessed for each man I have met and have learned a lot about myself in the process.  I know that my other half is somewhere out in the world and I feel like he is just around the corner.  If you’ve met him, make sure you tell him where to find me. Until then, I will be patient until it is our time to meet.

M.Y. August 2008

Signs

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“Signs”

Life is sometimes about not taking yourself so seriously.  Some of my friends and I went out in Nashville, TN recently and thought it would be fun to wear wigs while we were down there.  Here’s a photo of mine with my ’flowing locks’!!

Signs that he/she is NOT “the one”:**

1. He/she sings and knows all of the dance moves from the latest B2K album.

2.  He/she invites you over for a homemade dinner which consists of Hot Pockets, fruit cups and oatmeal cream pies.

3. You all go to a concert at the Palace.  You’re dressed to the nine, and he/she shows up at the door looking like he/she just finished mowing the lawn.

4.  You ask him/her what church he/she goes to.  He/she says “I don’t have time to go to church.  I close down the clubs at 4am, stay posted up in the parking lot until 6am and sleep until noon.”

5. He/she invites you out to eat at an expensive restaurant. He/she orders drinks, appetizers, the meal and desserts. When the check comes, he/she looks at the bill, reaches for his/her wallet and says “Oh snap! I forgot my wallet. Will you pay?”… and after the date he/she never returns your calls.

6. He/she drives a new BMW but lives in a studio apartment with an air mattress, cardboard table, lawn chairs and a plastic plant.

**For entertainment purposes only!  No animals were harmed while compiling this (although some egos may have been bruised).  The majority of these are purely fictitious… but not all!!!!

 

M.Y.  April 2007