Monthly Archives: January 2008

My First Love

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“My First Love”

Jan08-5My senior year of high school I went to UNC to visit. This guy took a group of us to observe a college class. He sent me a note asking which schools I had been accepted.  I thought nothing else about him.  Advance forward to my first week on campus my freshman year. The two large dorms, Morrison and Hinton James, had a party for the freshman. Same random guy was there as a counselor. After the party he volunteered to walk my friend and I back to the dorm. Sure, whatever.

Two days later I see him in the cafeteria, we lock eyes, and within hours become a couple. (Remember this is before I even started classes my freshman year.) Anthony and I stayed together for three years until he graduated. People often called us “The Happy Couple” because we were always together and also constantly smiling. He walked me to my classes and we always made sure our dorm rooms were placed next to each other. He became my best friend at UNC and I shared all of my hopes, dreams, experiences and fears with him. I was truly in love. But that love scared me at the age of 20. I thought about how college is the time you get to know various people, and he was the only man I ever met. I still had another year at Carolina so we broke up in 1997 and I decided to see what else was out there.

Anthony will tell you that I was the person he envisioned himself marrying. However while he was always ready to settle down, it wasn’t until about 6 years ago that I was honestly ready to consider marrying someone.  By then he had moved on with his life and now has a wife and two kids.  Recently we met for lunch in North Carolina. Although we’ve talked on the phone, this was our first time together alone since we broke up. I was nervous at first, but we had a blast. We spent three hours reliving the college days and both apologized for things done wrong.  When I asked the waitress to take our picture, she said “You all are such a great couple!”  (lol) I drove away with flashback memories of the strongest relationship I have been a part of.  I realized that he loved me for the person I was and will always be there to protect me. He helped me remember the genuine qualities I need to look for in my next potential mate/relationship and that all people come into your life for a reason.

Who would have known that while I was sitting in the back of a UNC classroom, planning what I’d wear to prom, that a guy would be put into my life that would show me what true love really is?!  I say this because you never know when the next “he/she” will be placed into your life.

Now the plug: MEN, we have many women here looking to meet someone like you.  Don’t deny yourself the opportunity to meet your possible future – she could be at Rapid Romance! Sign up today!

M.Y. January 2008

My American Idol

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“My American Idol”
Jan08-4My freshman year at UNC I was a cheerleader.  One of the teams I cheered for was women’s basketball.  The team was just returning off their 1994 NCAA Championship.  Although I’d never been a fan of women’s sports, I immediately became mesmerized by the talent of the women.  Tracey Reid, Marion Jones and senior Charlotte Smith (see left pic) led the team in a stellar season.  Carmichael Auditorium would be packed with fans and I would be anxious and excited to flip down the entire basketball court to pump up the crowd.

One of my favorite memories was on December 4, 1994. The Tar Heels were playing NC A&T.  It wasn’t expected to be a close game, but the athleticism of our girls was still supreme.  And then I saw it happen.  I was really there sitting in the front on the sideline.    I watched Ms. Charlotte dunk a basketball in a game!  This is the day that she became my ‘idol’.  I watched her throughout the season with style and grace.  Not only was she a talented athlete, but she was beautiful.  She showed me that being dark skinned is a sexy, soulful thing.  I watched gleefully as she accepted Player of the Year and then went on to play overseas and WNBA.

Jan08-4bBeing just a miniscule freshman I was often too scared to talk to her.  Last week I traveled back to Chapel Hill to watch a UNC women’s basketball game.  My cousin, senior Latoya Pringle (see right pic), currently is a 6’3 center for the team (obviously I didn’t get the height).  And guess who is one of the assistant coaches? Charlotte! I became that young giddy kid again who was nervous to even see her see me looking at her.  It brought back those memories for cheering for her over 13 years ago.  But would she take a picture with me?

I waited like a groupie until after the game with my family.  My cousin brought Charlotte out and said, “This is my cousin. She cheer–” Charlotte interrupted her and said, “I REMEMBER HER!” Hip hip hooray!! Fireworks went off in my head.  We took our picture (she ducked down so I wouldn’t feel midget status) and life was good.

M.Y.  January 2008

Thy Closets Runneth Over

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“Thy Closets Runneth Over”

Jan08-3Okay, I will be the first to admit that I have A LOT of clothes.  I really do.  But it’s not completely my fault.  Part of it is because I haven’t grown for the past decade.  I’ve been the same height and weight since college so I never really have a reason to throw a good piece of clothing away.  The other part of the ‘reason for the season’ is my mother.  My mother and I wore the same clothing size and same shoe size.  When she passed away, my closet almost doubled.  She wore the classiest suit and had some pretty amazing shoes.  Whenever I wear something that belonged to her and someone asks what brand it is, I say it came from the “Mom Collection”.

I recently took a tour of all the closet space I use just to see how bad it really is.  First there’s the walk-in closet in the Master Bedroom.  One side consists strictly of tops.  They are separated: sleeveless, short sleeve, long sleeve and blazers.  Each individual shirt section is also divided by color.  On the other side are all of my pant suits, skirt suits and pants.  Throughout the closet are rows and rows of shoes racks and above the clothes are my collections of sweatshirts.  I then walk across the room to a dresser and see 2 shelves of casual tops and shelf of jeans.  The other dresser in the room has t-shirts, undergarments, socks etc.

That’s sounds like about in itself – but that is only one room!  The office has a closet that holds all of my sweaters and casual sweat outfits (matching top and bottom).  One guest bedroom closet holds all of my dresses and skirts.  I just love dresses!  The next guest bedroom holds my formal dresses and my mother’s clothes from Africa.  Then I find the dresser that really lets me know that I have far too many clothes.  This dresser has four drawers.  The top drawer contains all of my bathing suits and sports bras for working out.  The next drawer holds my other tops for working out.  The next drawer has all of my long pants for working out and the bottom drawer contains all of my shorts for working out.

I realize that I could clothe an entire village in Africa and probably their distance relatives in Asia.  I’ve made the commitment to go through my closets and donate the clothes that I haven’t worn in years. That’s not the easiest thing to do, though.  Sometimes you’ll hold up something you’ve worn once in 10 years but have such a wonderful memory of the time you wore it that it’s hard to let it go.  I also will not put another new item in my closet until I get rid of something else.  Parting is such sweet sorrow, but as I watch my stack of clothes grow that I will donate to charity, I know I’ll be help bring a smile to someone’s face as they prepare for an interview, go to church or get dressed for a first date.

M.Y. January 2008

And Baby Makes 3 (or 4)

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“And Baby Makes 3 (or 4)”

Jan08-2Two of my friends are pregnant – very pregnant!   It’s been an amazing journey to watch them over the past seven months. One is married to her high school sweetheart and they are expecting their first child.  I was blessed to be able to travel with her to Richmond, VA where she showed her family (literally) that she was expecting.  They were overjoyed at the news, yet amazed that she was able to keep in a secret from them for so long.  I’ve watched her develop a craving for oranges and a little waddle, but not skip a beat!  I’ve seen her frustrations with maternity clothes and the excitement at the Carolina outfit her son will wear home.  I asked her about being pregnant and she said, “You feel sick. You feel good.  You feel tired.  You feel kicking.  You feel love!”

My other friend is married to her college sweetheart.  They are expecting their second son.  Although both friends are close in due dates, they’ve had completely different experiences.  This friend has unfortunately had to live the past several weeks in the hospital on bed rest. Christmas, New Years Eve and all the holiday celebrations were spent gazing at white walls and eating hospital food.  She’s taken this time to research the horoscope of the baby. He will be one of two signs.  When I asked her about pregnancy, she simply said “It sucks!”  I asked if there was anything positive, she said “No, it sucks”.  I looked at her husband to ask his two cents, he said, “Yeah, she’s right.”

So is there really nothing positive about being ‘knocked up’?  Although she said pregnancy sucked, I was able to see the light at the end of her tunnel.  Sitting next to pregnant friend #2 was her three-year-old son.  I watched her look at him lovingly as he munched on his dinner.  Even when she hears his voice on her phone, she’s overcome with pride and joy.  So while they may feel unsexy and like everyone is looking at their body, I see their motherly glow.  Although they want to cry, want to sleep and want to eat everything in sight – I know that two magnificent young men will be born into our world this Spring!!

M.Y.  January 2008

Happy New Year 2008

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Happy New Year!!  I wish you all the blessings for 2008!

Jan08-1The year 2007 started out horribly for me.  My desktop computer crashed.  I attended the funeral of my grandmother in Fayetteville, NC.  I then traveled back to Louisville to attend a second funeral for her (family drama).  While watching the news I saw that there was a car accident where a man running from the cops crashed into a car ejecting seven kids.  Two of these kids were my former students.  I went to the hospital to see one of their precious souls on life support.  That sight went straight to my heart.  Then the heat in my house went out and I had to purchase a new heater.  Then my laptop crashed.  My boyfriend and I broke up. Oh, and did I mention that all of this occurred before January 20, 2007?

I prayed daily that this would not be how all of 2007 existed.  Luckily, my bad luck ended there.  On January 26, I went out on an outing that would change the rest of my life.  Renee Murphy, Shannon Maxey and Tioka Ivory entered my life.  I was never one to be a part of a girl group or a ‘chic clique’ but these women have become my best friends.  It is simply amazing how God puts people into your life.  I didn’t ask for them to be placed there, but he knew it was what I needed in my life.  These women have been there for me through thick and thin and I am truly blessed for their existence.

The rest of my year went pretty well.  I was able to travel to North Carolina, Cleveland for the Women’s Final Four, Philadelphia, St. Louis, Arizona, Virginia, Detroit and who can forget Puerto Vallarta.  I expanded OnyxLouisville and have met many wonderful people in the Louisville community.  I was able to join several Boards and also became a volunteer ‘Big”.  I was fortunate to see a plethora of top notch plays, concerts and performances here in the Ville.

December 31, 2007 ended with an odd twist, but I do believe everything happens for a reason.  I’m still waiting for genuine, true love to enter in my life.  I know it will happen when the time is right.  It’s going to be great in 2008 and I can’t wait to see what the future holds.

M.Y.  January 2008