I never, ever, ever want to wake up again and feel the type of pain I recently felt. It felt like brick was trying to push it’s way out of the hole in my behind, but it just wasn’t going to give way. Talk about pain. Although I haven’t been in labor yet, it definitely felt like labor on my backside!
It hurt to walk to the toilet. It hurt to sit on the toilet. I had to stop several times to make it downstairs. After drinking a glass of water and eating some raisins, I tried to make my way into the downstairs bathroom. Slowly I sat on the commode. Owwwwww! I tried to push, but it hurt so much. I started sweating. I did lamaze breaths that I’ve seen on tv. I turned on the fan in the bathroom. Nothing seemed to be working.
After about five minutes, the clouds in the sky parted and I felt the most exhilarating feeling in the world. I never knew taking a dump would be such a freeing and refreshing feeling… ahhhhhh!
I don’t know about you, but I hate doing the ‘doo’ in the bathroom when someone else is there. Although the company where I work takes up an entire floor, there are only 14 employees. So, when you walk in the bathroom and someone is at another stall, it’s pretty easy to look down at the person’s feet to know who is there.
I always try to wait until the bathroom is empty before ‘making myself comfortable’ for a couple of minutes. But every once in awhile that is not an option. Last week I slowed my pace down as I heard my colleague finish her business. I leisurely squatted and waiting a couple of seconds. I know the general rule of the commode is that some type of sound should be made within seconds or else you could be accused of being a bathroom stalker.
So I said two short prayers to God. Prayer one – God, please allow a little urine to be in my system. Prayer two – God, please allow me to tinkle before I poo. And I did. (I warned you at the title that this was a random thought).
Then I started thinking about the chicken and the egg theory and which came first. I pondered my toilet experiences and realized that I always do #1 before I do #2. And then I wondered – “Is it possible to do #2 before #1 or is that why they are given those titles?” My thought grew to a question that I posted on Facebook. Most of the responses thought I was crazy, but nobody answered the question….
…. Until a male friend of mine sent me a text saying that he always does #2 before #1. So, now a new thought cloud has formed in my mind. Do all men do #2 before #1, but all women do #1 before #2!? Hmmmmm, I think I’ve uncovered an un-researched world just waiting to be discovered. It has created some interesting discussions, but still no concrete answers. So, over the next 24 hours as you do the doo, poo and #2 – think about which came first and participate in our survey!