Author Archives: yeagerturner

Bad Attitude or Something More

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‘Bad Attitude or Something More?’

Apr09-3My washer recently started leaking so my friend took a photo of where the water was dripping and suggested I go to a home improvement store to try to fix it.

I then threw on some sweats, pulled my hair back in a ponytail and headed out the door.   I entered the store and was immediately greeted by two people.  One walked me back to the appliance section where I was introduced to Mike H.  When I told him the issue, he said that I would need to go to an appliance parts store.

I asked which ones he would suggest.  Mike said to look it up in the phonebook and find one close to where I lived.  Excuse me!  I stated that I live just around the corner and asked if he would write some down.  He then placed a piece of paper and pen in front of me.  Wow! I wrote one down and he said it was two city blocks south of I-264 on Newburg Rd.  I asked if that was near the School Board.  He rudely said, ‘I said two city blocks’.  I once again kindly reminded him that I live in the suburbs of Louisville and have no clue how far two city blocks are.

At this point I felt belittled and asked Mike H. if I were taking up his time and should instead find someone else that would better serve me.  An older female customer standing close asked me what my problem was and started talking to me.  She told me about her recent washer problems, made suggestions if I had to get a new one and helped me more than Mike H even attempted.

I pulled out my camera to show the other customer where the water was leaking at Mike looked at it.  He then said, ‘So, what part is that?’  Really!  My response was, ‘I am in education, if I knew what the part was then I wouldn’t have come to this section for assistance.’  I told him that my friend suggested possibly putting putty in to stop the leak.   He told me I would need to go to an automotive store to get that.

I walked out of the store hurt at my experience.  I felt some very disparaging remarks were made toward me and felt that nobody should be treated that way.  When I arrived home, I called to speak to a supervisor.  The next day, I also went into the store and talked with the store manager.  He was very disturbed with how I was treated and apologized.  We first walked all through the store to try to find Mike. After we couldn’t, I was introduced to Gary who gave me the type of service that one would expect.

You know, people talk about being discriminated against and I am not sure if this was one of those situations.  Yes, the employee (Mike H) did have a very nasty attitude – but was it racially motivated?  That I will never know.  I do know that he was just one employee and not a reflection of the entire store.  I actually went back to the same store several times that week because I did end up needing a new dryer.  Each of the other times I was treated wonderfully from the time I entered to the time I left.  Lesson learned: Don’t let people treat you less than you are worth and don’t assume that one person’s attitude is a reflection of those around them.

M.Y.  April 2009

Main Event

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The Main Event
I so wanted it to happen!  I purchased my plane ticket.  I called my uncle in Michigan and had a place to stay.  I didn’t plan any meetings for two days.  I was ready.  Louisville and UNC were supposed to play each other in the Championship game for NCAA men’s basketball.  I won’t say who, but one of the teams let me down a little earlier than expected.

It was interesting to read people’s Facebook updates throughout the entire game.  Even people who were at the game were taking out their frustrations online.  Some of comments posted included:
“had fun in Indi until Sun…now depressed :( “, “is not really feeling this thing called “work” today…I am still a little down from the Elite 8 loss…”, “is wondering if the Cardinals left all the enthusiasm on The court Friday night” and “woke up this morning feeling like I’ve been cheated on!! Why couldn’t yesterday have been a dream? Can we have a do over? UUUUUGGGGHHH!! What a way to start spring break!!”

So while I didn’t get to experience that championship game main event, there was another one here in Louisville.  For an hour last Sunday I kicked it with three cool men.  Yes, me and three men (could be a fantasy to some ladies!) Haven Harington, Rob Bell and Carlo Kellam have their own sports radio show on 1350 WLOU AM radio entitled “The Main Event Sports Show”.  They talk about any and every sport event imaginable.  Of course we talked about UL sports and the demise of Billy G at UK.  Karlo, also known as “Mr. Marvelous” is a trash talking UK fan and he had his share of callers that called in to give him an earful.  He took it all in great stride, though, and although he was respectful, he stood a proud Cats fan (I can now say, though, that he was incorrect on Izzo being the new coach).

Then there was Haven who seemed like the ring leader of the group.  He kept the pace of the program going.  He was fortunate enough to go to Indy on Friday night and shared his behind the scene footage.  He played a clip from Rick Pitino and also led a discussion about the NFL football player in TX who was pulled over at an emergency room as his mother -in-law died in the hospital.

Rounding out the crew was Rob Bell.  He disagrees with me, but I told him he seemed like the laid back one in the crew.  He’s the stats guy that stayed on the internet to keep folks updated on games scores and recent headlines.  He also seemed like the most unbiased (as far as favorite teams go) and offered a great perspective on everything.  So, if you haven’t checked these guys out – they are on the radio (and online) every Saturday from 6-7pm.  I appreciate them letting a Tar Heel like me in the studio!

M.Y.  April 2009

It All Starts with One Person Who Believes

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It Starts With One Person Who Believes

Mar09-4I was sitting in a meeting with a principal and a teacher and they were both saying praises about a guy named Al Northington.  At the time, he had led the Iroquois girls’ basketball team to the Sweet 16.  They said, if anyone deserved to win the title, he was the man.  About a week later, I received a call from George, the OnyxLouisville photographer, bragging about this same coach and how he just became the first African-American to win a state girls basketball title.

I had to find out who this man was and hear about his accomplishment.  I talked to him at 7:00pm on a Thursday night.  The night before the school’s big celebration for the win that would include the Mayor and everyone from the community.   He was still at the school hanging up banners and doing all the last minute details (alone).  He told me about a high school, Iroquois, that for several years didn’t have a girl’s basketball team due to lack of interest.  At the time, he taught basketball camps at Brandeis Elementary School and saw a fourth grader that he felt was skilled enough to play high school varsity ball.  Her name was Adia Mathies.  When she and several other females entered middle school, he placed them on Iroquois HIGH SCHOOL’s varsity team.   Yes, sixth graders playing against the big girls.

And slowly but surely, he changed the program around.  One win at a time, they made believers out of doubters and winners out of girls who often only felt loss.  But it wasn’t easy. He had to beg some of the girls just to come to school.  Many had problems with their grades.  Some had attitudes and trouble with their teachers.  Several would have been kicked off the team if they went to other schools.  But, Coach Northington refused to give up on them.  He altered his coaching style to try to reach them and stay motivated.

Coach is proud of what he has accomplished, but feels this is only the beginning.  He feels that six of his girls have potential to play at a Division 1 school.  Unfortunately, due to grades and other circumstances, only one of them will be playing at a D One school next year.  As much as he tries to do it himself, he still feels that these ladies need mentors, especially females, to help them change their ways.  He wants them to have mentors that will stress the importance of college.

It was interesting to me because the day before I spoke with Coach, I wrote as my facebook status ‘Michelle wants to be more involved with a community organization- especially the youth’.  Who would have known that God would have answered my request just a day later with a simple phone call?

OnyxLouisville readers, here is where you come in.  Coach Northington and I are going to put together some type of program for these women to meet and talk with other urban professionals (especially women) in the community to tell them that not only are we proud of them, but we want to help them continue to be a difference and make the difference.  The details of the program have not yet been worked out and the time commitment will be minimal.  The ladies cannot strive for a better life if they are not exposed to people that have struggled, yet continued to seek success.  Please email me if you can be a part of this project.  While a state basketball title can be sweet, we all know high school only lasts so long – and then the real world begins!

Email me if you’re willing to help!

Congratulations also to Adia who was also named Miss KY Basketball 2009!  She will wear the #1 jersey in the all star game this summer!!

M.Y. March 2009

We All Make Mistakes

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“We All Make Mistakes”

Mar09-3So, I had been preparing for an international Fitness competition.  There were competitors from over 40 countries, many of which brought their interpreters.  It’s called, The Arnold, and is named after The Terminator himself.  Although I was sidelined with a neck injury, I felt ready to compete and to start making a fitness name for myself.

I was #10 and the last competitor in the short class for fitness.  We were all back stage and there was a television so that we could see everyone else’s routine.  The first routine was last year’s overall winner, and she had an amazing routine.  However, I watched the rest of the girls and realized that my routine was pretty comparable, if not better, than theirs.

As I went on the stage, the crowd was impressed with my opening, I became excited with my routine and my facial expressions were in full swing.  And then the first thing started happening – my shorts started riding up the crack on my buttocks.  Yeah, at first I said to just leave it, but they were really up there.  So – I picked them out.  And then I picked them out again.  And then I picked them out one more time.  My butt was already bigger than the other women on stage and the last thing I wanted to do was expose its entire package to the watching audience.

I was stoked to get through the strength moves in my routine with ease and just had my last tumbling pass to complete.  I had plenty of energy and couldn’t wait to end the routine.  I did the tumbling pass – a roundoff, backhand spring, backtuck.  As my feet touched the ground for my backtuck, so did my hands.  I was SO MAD at myself.  Since I was six years old, I don’t ever remember falling on a tumbling pass.  I was disappointed with myself and although I talked to other people, I didn’t talk to myself for the entire night.

Although I wanted 3rd or 4th, I ended up placing 5th in the competition.  It taught me a lot of lessons as I prepare for my next major competitions in several weeks.  Most importantly, I learned to recover and keep going when something doesn’t go as expected.  I also learned that a mistake will only make you stronger.  This competition was supposed to be preparation for the Pro Card qualifier that matters, so know I can fix the cracks (literally) and perform a stronger routine.

Mistakes happen to us all. Even sometimes in front of people.  Even sometimes in front of thousands of people.  Even sometimes in front of several websites that post unpleasant pictures of your backside.  Even sometimes on videos on sale to hundreds of people.  But, hey, it’s all good.  It should just give you the drive to try again and this time come back with a better package!

M.Y. March 2009

Time For Change

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Time For Change

Mar09-2When you’re an only child that has lost both of your parents, you inherit a lot of things.  One of those things was my childhood home which I moved back into in 2006.  It took me a good amount of time to go through 25 years worth of my parents’ items.  For a long time, I just left everything the way it was.  The furniture stayed the same.  The flowered wallpaper in the kitchen looked at me each and every morning. My father’s 16 foot train set took up its special space in the basement.  The wood paneled walls in the basements didn’t change.   Most people didn’t even know I had a basement because I never went down there.  I always said I wanted to update it away from the 80s look and make it my own.
In 2007, I started getting bids from contractors.  I never followed through.  They would call me to see if I had made a decision, and I would say I wasn’t ready just yet.  As ugly as I thought it was, I wasn’t ready to make that change.
Finally in 2008, I knew the time was right.  I worked with Rateau Construction and we came up with a plan to completely remodel my basement  – ceilings, walls and floors and to update my kitchen.   It was fun to pick out the colors of paint, countertops and appliances.  They started work on the Monday after Thanksgiving and the basement was first.  When I walked downstairs after the first day, the first thing I noticed was that my father’s train set was gone.  Nowhere to be found.  This massive train project had been a beautiful display for over 20 years in my home.  I was sad at first and wondered if I were doing the right thing with making changes.  I then realized that memories are forever and I reminded myself that I can kept a small piece of the train set upstairs so that it will always be a part of me.
One step at a time, I watched the changes being made.  And with each step of the process, I slowly felt my childhood home becoming my modern day adult home.   I am in love with the changes that have been made and now have a completely new sense of home.  I feel like right now I have the best of both worlds.  I can walk into various rooms that still display my family’s art work or my mother’s accomplishments.  I can easily locate childhood momentos.  However, I can  sit comfortably in front of my flat screen tv in the basement and feel that the ‘adult me’ is also leaving my mark of this wonderful home!

Your change my not be physical changes to your house, maybe they are personal changes to your life.  Whatever transition you are going through, don’t let others tell you when the time is right.  Take your time, think things through and when the time right – you’ll know it!

M.Y.  March 2009

Ebony-n-Ivory Accepted Here?

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Ebony-n-Ivory Accepted Here?

Mar09-1People everywhere celebrated the election of Barack Obama.  Others felt it was a terrible day and that they could never respect a black man as their president.  If we look at Obama’s background, we see that he is more diverse than many of us.  And while we all say we are accepting of it (to the general public he looks like an average black man), are all of us really?

Barack was born to a Caucasian American female and an African male from Kenya.  When we say someone is African-American, he definitely fits that description.  Outwardly it seems like the minority community is more accepting of interracial relationships, but are we?  A couple of weeks ago I received an email from an OnyxLouisville reader.  She attended a party and was very troubled by her experience.  I told her I would write about her situation and get the input of others.  Please help her out.

Her Initial email:
I just wanted to address some things I have noticed lately.  I was born and raised in Louisville and throughout the last couple years I have been so frustrated with how our “grown up” nightlife scene is. My frustration stems from the ignorance I have seen. I have many friends that love the music but will not step foot into parties such as the ones at Raw and the Winery based on the simple fact of the pettiness they have experienced. I thought Louisville would be more diverse by now, but wow I am shocked.  Why does my race have to be addressed when I walk in the doors? I understand I am Caucasian but why must the ladies always point that out with side comments and harsh looks? I usually just laugh at it, but now I am really trying to come to terms with why this is still going on. I hate that my city has to be so ignorant. What is up with that?

Her follow up email where I asked specifically what happened:
Aside from the deer in headlights looks I receive (and trust me I am not just being paranoid), as a woman I am sure you can relate. Between 5 to 6 females made it a point to approach my boyfriend and ask him why he was here with a “white chick”, much to their dismay we have been together for 3 years but I am a pretty private person so it caught me and him off guard. He said he had females coming up to him that he barely knew making comments. Disrespectful is an understatement. Also, my guy was introducing me to someone and she tried to pull him aside and ask if he was really with a “white girl” and then he went on to introduce me out of respect and she said “Is this a new one”? Like I was a new pair of stilettos! She later apologized to him saying she didn’t recognize me because my hair was up when she saw me last time. Do you think this is just a female thing or a race thing? I feel like it is a little of both and it’s such a tragedy.

So readers, what is your response?  Are you accepting of interracial couples?  Are ‘urban professional’ parties supposed to have an all black crowd?  When you disagree with someone’s choices in a mate, do you have a right to vocalize it to the person?  Would you still love Michelle Obama if she had blonde hair and blue eyes?  Is love really color blind? What would you do if you were in her situation?

M.Y. March 2009