I met a new mom friend recently. She has the most precious kids. I met her at a time where, aside from family, I didn’t really feel as if I had any true friends here. And there she was. We clicked instantly.
In the weeks since I’ve met her, we talk regularly. Little did I know that as much as I was looking for a friend, she was looking for the same. We’ve been to lunch together (without kids) and our kids have had play dates.
Today I saw her and she said, “Ignore the hair on my face. I’m getting laser surgery and can’t shave it until then.” I could tell she felt embarrassed. Little did she know, I had never noticed it. Even when she pointed it out, I still didn’t notice it.
How often do we think we have character ‘flaws’ that others can see? We often think we have this big X on our chest and the entire world notices. Sometimes it’s something visible like a new gray hair. Other times we think everyone knows our “news”.
“That stranger on the street looked at me funny, he must know I had an argument with my husband.”
“My child’s teacher smiled at me funny. She must know I ate an entire carton of ice cream last night.”
“I wore these same jeans yesterday. I’m pretty sure my boss just did a second look as I walked by.”
When we are in these predicaments, we usually tell on ourselves without realizing the other person really didn’t notice. “Last night was so stressful, the kids were acting crazy, I burned dinner and we ran out of toothpaste. I was so stressed, I ate the entire carton of butter pecan ice cream since we were out of wine!”
Yeah, that yikes face is usually the look the other person gives you at the end of your over sharing.
We need to quit being so hard on ourselves and instead realize that the self doubts and confessions that we have are usually seen by only one person. You. There’s often too much happening in the world to each of us, that we don’t have time to judge others. I know for me, I take pride in the fact that I put two black matching socks on each morning. That’s success.
So, the next time you think your life is a hot mess and everyone around you is talking behind your back – STOP. BREATHE. CHILL OUT.
Life is crazy. Motherhood is insane. Marriage can be a trial.
And everyone can relate! We’re in this game of life together