Beauty Pains

I will be the first to admit that I am not yet a “girly-girl”. Yes, I have over a hundred dresses that I love to wear, but aside from that, you might as well call me a feminine tomboy.  I could care less about getting my nails done weekly, checking out the latest MAC colors or having a purse large enough to hold a pair of newborn twins.  The makeup I wear takes all of five minutes to put on- 3 strokes of eye shadow, basic black eyeliner and mascara – then I am out the door. My matching accessories are about as simple as my makeup.   I have a wonderful thin black bracelet I wear everyday (it’s really a black ponytail holder).

Every once in a while I will have to be grown and do ladylike things.  Most of it happens when I am getting ready for a competition or accepting an award.  While it is fun to look glamorous for a couple of hours, the process of getting there can be pretty painful – I don’t see how people do it on a regular basis.

Now, I am usually on a stage (in a two piece suit) in front of thousands of people.  So, the first essential thing is a waxing – below the belt.  Now while that area does stay tidy during the year, it’s only on special occasions that it gets fully serviced.  And that sucker HURTS!!!!!!!!  The women that do the waxing offer great conversation to try to mask the pain.  But still, my vaginal pores are speaking in tongues for those first several moments after pulling.  I often wonder why women would go through those motions on a regular basis – that takes a strong and passionate lady.

I decided to try something new for my last show – eyebrow threading.  My friend Jay has wonderful eyebrows and she referred me to the perfect person.  It was hard for me to imagine that a simple piece of thread on my eyebrow making a perfect curve.  So, I sat back in the chair and stretched the skin around my eye.  It makes this really weird chirping sound that is hard to explain.  It too at times is painful.  But when I sat up just five minutes later, my eyebrows came to life.  I felt like Tyra Banks would be proud!

I think that men may have invented most of these beauty tricks because no woman would make being beautiful such a process or a pain.  So, I tip my hat to all of the diva women around.  I admire your style, your dedication and your drive to stay beautiful!!!

M.Y.  November 2009