Monthly Archives: March 2009

It All Starts with One Person Who Believes

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It Starts With One Person Who Believes

Mar09-4I was sitting in a meeting with a principal and a teacher and they were both saying praises about a guy named Al Northington.  At the time, he had led the Iroquois girls’ basketball team to the Sweet 16.  They said, if anyone deserved to win the title, he was the man.  About a week later, I received a call from George, the OnyxLouisville photographer, bragging about this same coach and how he just became the first African-American to win a state girls basketball title.

I had to find out who this man was and hear about his accomplishment.  I talked to him at 7:00pm on a Thursday night.  The night before the school’s big celebration for the win that would include the Mayor and everyone from the community.   He was still at the school hanging up banners and doing all the last minute details (alone).  He told me about a high school, Iroquois, that for several years didn’t have a girl’s basketball team due to lack of interest.  At the time, he taught basketball camps at Brandeis Elementary School and saw a fourth grader that he felt was skilled enough to play high school varsity ball.  Her name was Adia Mathies.  When she and several other females entered middle school, he placed them on Iroquois HIGH SCHOOL’s varsity team.   Yes, sixth graders playing against the big girls.

And slowly but surely, he changed the program around.  One win at a time, they made believers out of doubters and winners out of girls who often only felt loss.  But it wasn’t easy. He had to beg some of the girls just to come to school.  Many had problems with their grades.  Some had attitudes and trouble with their teachers.  Several would have been kicked off the team if they went to other schools.  But, Coach Northington refused to give up on them.  He altered his coaching style to try to reach them and stay motivated.

Coach is proud of what he has accomplished, but feels this is only the beginning.  He feels that six of his girls have potential to play at a Division 1 school.  Unfortunately, due to grades and other circumstances, only one of them will be playing at a D One school next year.  As much as he tries to do it himself, he still feels that these ladies need mentors, especially females, to help them change their ways.  He wants them to have mentors that will stress the importance of college.

It was interesting to me because the day before I spoke with Coach, I wrote as my facebook status ‘Michelle wants to be more involved with a community organization- especially the youth’.  Who would have known that God would have answered my request just a day later with a simple phone call?

OnyxLouisville readers, here is where you come in.  Coach Northington and I are going to put together some type of program for these women to meet and talk with other urban professionals (especially women) in the community to tell them that not only are we proud of them, but we want to help them continue to be a difference and make the difference.  The details of the program have not yet been worked out and the time commitment will be minimal.  The ladies cannot strive for a better life if they are not exposed to people that have struggled, yet continued to seek success.  Please email me if you can be a part of this project.  While a state basketball title can be sweet, we all know high school only lasts so long – and then the real world begins!

Email me if you’re willing to help!

Congratulations also to Adia who was also named Miss KY Basketball 2009!  She will wear the #1 jersey in the all star game this summer!!

M.Y. March 2009

We All Make Mistakes

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“We All Make Mistakes”

Mar09-3So, I had been preparing for an international Fitness competition.  There were competitors from over 40 countries, many of which brought their interpreters.  It’s called, The Arnold, and is named after The Terminator himself.  Although I was sidelined with a neck injury, I felt ready to compete and to start making a fitness name for myself.

I was #10 and the last competitor in the short class for fitness.  We were all back stage and there was a television so that we could see everyone else’s routine.  The first routine was last year’s overall winner, and she had an amazing routine.  However, I watched the rest of the girls and realized that my routine was pretty comparable, if not better, than theirs.

As I went on the stage, the crowd was impressed with my opening, I became excited with my routine and my facial expressions were in full swing.  And then the first thing started happening – my shorts started riding up the crack on my buttocks.  Yeah, at first I said to just leave it, but they were really up there.  So – I picked them out.  And then I picked them out again.  And then I picked them out one more time.  My butt was already bigger than the other women on stage and the last thing I wanted to do was expose its entire package to the watching audience.

I was stoked to get through the strength moves in my routine with ease and just had my last tumbling pass to complete.  I had plenty of energy and couldn’t wait to end the routine.  I did the tumbling pass – a roundoff, backhand spring, backtuck.  As my feet touched the ground for my backtuck, so did my hands.  I was SO MAD at myself.  Since I was six years old, I don’t ever remember falling on a tumbling pass.  I was disappointed with myself and although I talked to other people, I didn’t talk to myself for the entire night.

Although I wanted 3rd or 4th, I ended up placing 5th in the competition.  It taught me a lot of lessons as I prepare for my next major competitions in several weeks.  Most importantly, I learned to recover and keep going when something doesn’t go as expected.  I also learned that a mistake will only make you stronger.  This competition was supposed to be preparation for the Pro Card qualifier that matters, so know I can fix the cracks (literally) and perform a stronger routine.

Mistakes happen to us all. Even sometimes in front of people.  Even sometimes in front of thousands of people.  Even sometimes in front of several websites that post unpleasant pictures of your backside.  Even sometimes on videos on sale to hundreds of people.  But, hey, it’s all good.  It should just give you the drive to try again and this time come back with a better package!

M.Y. March 2009

Time For Change

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Time For Change

Mar09-2When you’re an only child that has lost both of your parents, you inherit a lot of things.  One of those things was my childhood home which I moved back into in 2006.  It took me a good amount of time to go through 25 years worth of my parents’ items.  For a long time, I just left everything the way it was.  The furniture stayed the same.  The flowered wallpaper in the kitchen looked at me each and every morning. My father’s 16 foot train set took up its special space in the basement.  The wood paneled walls in the basements didn’t change.   Most people didn’t even know I had a basement because I never went down there.  I always said I wanted to update it away from the 80s look and make it my own.
In 2007, I started getting bids from contractors.  I never followed through.  They would call me to see if I had made a decision, and I would say I wasn’t ready just yet.  As ugly as I thought it was, I wasn’t ready to make that change.
Finally in 2008, I knew the time was right.  I worked with Rateau Construction and we came up with a plan to completely remodel my basement  – ceilings, walls and floors and to update my kitchen.   It was fun to pick out the colors of paint, countertops and appliances.  They started work on the Monday after Thanksgiving and the basement was first.  When I walked downstairs after the first day, the first thing I noticed was that my father’s train set was gone.  Nowhere to be found.  This massive train project had been a beautiful display for over 20 years in my home.  I was sad at first and wondered if I were doing the right thing with making changes.  I then realized that memories are forever and I reminded myself that I can kept a small piece of the train set upstairs so that it will always be a part of me.
One step at a time, I watched the changes being made.  And with each step of the process, I slowly felt my childhood home becoming my modern day adult home.   I am in love with the changes that have been made and now have a completely new sense of home.  I feel like right now I have the best of both worlds.  I can walk into various rooms that still display my family’s art work or my mother’s accomplishments.  I can easily locate childhood momentos.  However, I can  sit comfortably in front of my flat screen tv in the basement and feel that the ‘adult me’ is also leaving my mark of this wonderful home!

Your change my not be physical changes to your house, maybe they are personal changes to your life.  Whatever transition you are going through, don’t let others tell you when the time is right.  Take your time, think things through and when the time right – you’ll know it!

M.Y.  March 2009

Ebony-n-Ivory Accepted Here?

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Ebony-n-Ivory Accepted Here?

Mar09-1People everywhere celebrated the election of Barack Obama.  Others felt it was a terrible day and that they could never respect a black man as their president.  If we look at Obama’s background, we see that he is more diverse than many of us.  And while we all say we are accepting of it (to the general public he looks like an average black man), are all of us really?

Barack was born to a Caucasian American female and an African male from Kenya.  When we say someone is African-American, he definitely fits that description.  Outwardly it seems like the minority community is more accepting of interracial relationships, but are we?  A couple of weeks ago I received an email from an OnyxLouisville reader.  She attended a party and was very troubled by her experience.  I told her I would write about her situation and get the input of others.  Please help her out.

Her Initial email:
I just wanted to address some things I have noticed lately.  I was born and raised in Louisville and throughout the last couple years I have been so frustrated with how our “grown up” nightlife scene is. My frustration stems from the ignorance I have seen. I have many friends that love the music but will not step foot into parties such as the ones at Raw and the Winery based on the simple fact of the pettiness they have experienced. I thought Louisville would be more diverse by now, but wow I am shocked.  Why does my race have to be addressed when I walk in the doors? I understand I am Caucasian but why must the ladies always point that out with side comments and harsh looks? I usually just laugh at it, but now I am really trying to come to terms with why this is still going on. I hate that my city has to be so ignorant. What is up with that?

Her follow up email where I asked specifically what happened:
Aside from the deer in headlights looks I receive (and trust me I am not just being paranoid), as a woman I am sure you can relate. Between 5 to 6 females made it a point to approach my boyfriend and ask him why he was here with a “white chick”, much to their dismay we have been together for 3 years but I am a pretty private person so it caught me and him off guard. He said he had females coming up to him that he barely knew making comments. Disrespectful is an understatement. Also, my guy was introducing me to someone and she tried to pull him aside and ask if he was really with a “white girl” and then he went on to introduce me out of respect and she said “Is this a new one”? Like I was a new pair of stilettos! She later apologized to him saying she didn’t recognize me because my hair was up when she saw me last time. Do you think this is just a female thing or a race thing? I feel like it is a little of both and it’s such a tragedy.

So readers, what is your response?  Are you accepting of interracial couples?  Are ‘urban professional’ parties supposed to have an all black crowd?  When you disagree with someone’s choices in a mate, do you have a right to vocalize it to the person?  Would you still love Michelle Obama if she had blonde hair and blue eyes?  Is love really color blind? What would you do if you were in her situation?

M.Y. March 2009