The Best Worst Concert
Going to college in NC, I became a big fan of Luke and down south music. Several years ago he came in concert the week of Derby. I love his beats, especially “Scarred” and knew I wouldn’t miss the show.
I arrived on time for the early evening weekday performance. As I found a table by myself a guy (straight out of a rap video) walked up to me. Grill full of gold and all. I asked him his name, he said “Cujo”. I told him I’m sure that’s not what his mother named him. His response, “Well, if you hang around me long enough, maybe you’ll find out my real name!”. No thank you.
As the crowd started to arrive, I noticed a trend. Ninety nine percent of the crowd were men. The hours (plural) went by and there was still no Luke or any sign of him. They asked from some female volunteers to go on stage. The DJ played music and encouraged the women to strip for money. At first the acted like they were embarrassed, but as soon as the music came on, they had no trouble participating.
I went toward the back of the room and found my original table. Cujo walks back up to me and is looking around my feet. I asked what is wrong and he doesn’t say anything. I then look on the ground and see his grill lying there on the floor. I say, “Is that what you’re looking for?” He picks the grill off the floor, puts it right in his mouth and walks away.
Still no Luke. The next musical interlude had a random guy from the audience run up on stage, grab a mic and start rapping. After a couple of minutes, the cops came on stage and escorted him off. As he tried to finish his song (even while being dragged off) I looked closer and realized it was the guy I went with to Senior Prom. Hmmm.
The next hour consisted of them playing a teaser of “It’s Your Birthday” and some woman getting on stage to show how well she could do the splits on a beer bottle. By now it’s 1:00am and I am slowing starting to realize that I probably didn’t need to be there. So, I walked to my car and had my own personal concert listening to Luke on CD.
M.Y. September 2009