We met two years ago in September 2008 (I’ll call him ‘Guy’). He lives up north. He liked me. I liked him. We got along great. We took a trip together to a beach. We survived a hurricane. A week later he calls. His ex is moving back to his area and they are going to try to work things out. My response - Good luck buddy, don’t call me in a month when it doesn’t work out.
He calls. He calls again. I have no interest in helping him have his cake and eat it to. I say no phone calls, we can be friends by text or email. His relationship ends (surprise, surprise). Months go by. Christmas arrives. Tis the season so I say he can call and wish me a happy holiday. We become friends. February 2009, he invites me to a Celtics/Lakers game. Good game. Good time. Nothing major chemistry wise. April arrives. He expresses an interest. My response – Sorry buddy, I just got in a relationship. You had your chance last year.
I stay in the relationship all year. He and I stay friends. Boyfriend and I break up end of last year. He knows this but makes no moves. I see him end of January 2010 when I go to Boston for a fitness camp. We have a friendly dinner. No emotions expressed. I meet a new guy. Valentine’s Day this year comes around. New guy and I have an amazing date. Excited to see where it can lead. ‘Guy’ calls five times that day. I call back after my date. ‘Guy’ wants to visit here. My response – ‘Sorry buddy, I just started dating someone’
‘Guy’ says that I need to give he and I am real chance and he regrets letting me go two years ago. I say ‘your loss’ and keep dating new guy. ‘Guy’ send flowers to my work that say ‘Just Because’. I tell guy that I only believe in dating one person at a time and want to see where my current situation could lead. ‘Guy’ continues to express his emotions. ‘Guy’ send flowers to me at my competition. ‘Guy’ flies in to watch my competition. Guy tell me I am the person he is supposed to spend the rest of his life with. I keep dating new guy.
New guy and I take a mini-food vacation to catch up on everything I missed eating. ‘Guy’ knows I’m out of town with new guy. I return to work (this is just last week). Co-worker walks in and delivers two dozen red roses and an original love poem. The first letter of each poem even spells out my name. Now I’m put in a very awkward position.
So here are my questions for you – 1. Is it acceptable for someone to make that strong of moves on you even when they know you are dating someone? 2. Should I give ‘Guy’ a chance since he finally came to his senses? 3. Should I stay with new guy since he appreciated me from the beginning? 4. Can I still be friends with this person once he has expressed such strong emotions? 5. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason and if ‘Guy’ and I were meant to be together then timing would have made it happen? 6. What do you say to ‘Guy’ and new guy?
Please email your thoughts, I’ll share what I did next week!
M.Y. March 2010