A Few Words Mean Everything

     A Few Words Mean Everything

You never think of how powerful words can be.  You never stop to ponder how meaningful or hurtful a couple of words can be to someone.  You never know when you will make a difference in someone’s life.

Kem came to Louisville a couple of weeks ago.  OnyxLouisville gave away several pair of tickets. One of the promotions was through Facebook and it was to vote for your favorite single female.  There were about 18 people that entered.  Each lady was on FB asking her FB friends to vote for her so she could win tickets. But, I noticed something unique about the contest. One of the entrants, Kimberly, went on each of the other entrants page and wrote comments like “Looking good, God bless you”, “Way to go. Win, win, win!”, “Pretty smile, best wishes on winning”…. These were women she is competing against and she voted for each of them while encouraging them to win.  I was in awe of her and I didn’t even know her.  I had an extra pair of tickets, so I called her on Valentine’s Day and offered them to her.  Someone so giving, deserves to be blessed.

Go into the future three days.  Milton and I attend the Kem concert, which was amazing as always.  I sat next to a female that was attending the show solo.  I started small talk with her.  Eventually I asked if she’s take a photo of Milton and I. She asked about iphones, which for some reason lead me to ask if she had grandkids. She told me that she was widowed and that her husband was killed 20 years ago by a drunk driver. He was the love of her life.  She shared many details about the pain she’s felt since his death and what all has happened with the drunk driver.  Then the show started.

Milton gave me sweet kisses on the cheek and we swayed in our seats.  We watched two couples get engaged. Then Kem started signing “I Can’t Get Over You”.  A classic.  As he ooh’d the audience with his vocals, I heard crying.  My new friend sitting next to me was now bawling. I instantly knew that she was thinking about her husband.  I wrapped my arms around her and just let her cry for the rest of the song.  At the end she said, “Thank you so much.” I told her there was a reason we were supposed to sit next to each other and I’m glad I could have been there for her.

The next day while perusing FB, I came across this post from Kimberly.  “Well Daddy, thank you for lifting me up from my depression. I feel like going on. Onyx Louisville gifted me with tickets to Kem and that started the fire. Got my hair did… My brows beat and had a superb weekend. Played hard with my Bunco partners Saturday got a little retail therapy in. Released loads of stress this afternoon at yoga east for meditation and cleansed my soul. Started feeling tuckered out by afternoon but I arrived almost on time and enjoyed unlimited show band the best kept band in the city and Kem just showed out and ministered his way to the people. I’m done. I just want to say “let the church say amen… God has spoken let the church say amen. Thank you Daddy. I’m on purpose and I love you MORE. Bless all my friends and I saw a plenty at the concert. AMEN”

The Kem concert introduced me to two amazing women that deserve nothing but the best.  Kimberly’s kind gestures and simple words to others, helped her get a girls night out with an amazing vocalist.  The lady that sat next to me at the concert was able to converse with me just enough to help me be a shoulder to cry on at just the right time.  As often as you feel like you know everyone in Louisville, there’s always someone else with a story you need to hear.  When’s the last time you said hello or struck up small talk with someone new? Someone probably tried to reach out to you today – but did you open yourself to listen?!

Frustrated Birthday!

Well, May 23 came – nothing happened.

May 26 came – nothing happened.

Remember a week ago from today we went to Labor and Delivery at the hospital.  I was 100% effaced and 2cm dilated. They said I would be back soon.  They said I wouldn’t make it to my doctor’s appointment on Friday. Milton went to work and they changed his entire schedule around so that he could be available if I went into labor. He worked all week.

Friday morning rolls around and Milton and I head to my 8:00am doctor’s appointment.  The cool thing was that they did an ultrasound on Baby Turner.  He didn’t look like he was trying to be bothered but our cutie is a cutie.  I’m not quite sure yet who he looks like.  He is estimated to weigh 6 pounds.

While in the hospital on bed rest all four of the doctors talked about how great it would be to get to 36 weeks.  My ob-gyn said the same.  So, here I am sitting in the doctor’s office just two days shorts of 36 weeks.  I’m excited because I met the magic number of 36 weeks which meant I should be off bed rest. W-R-O-N-G!!!!!!!  She said, “let’s try another week”. Are you serious?!  That’s what you’ve said the past two times I was here.  My birthday was the following day.  I asked if my husband and I could go to a movie.  She said no.  She let me go to church last week, but not the movie?  I’m not sure what the difference is.

We went back home. Most of Friday and Saturday (my birthday) I was very sad and withdrawn.  I felt I had followed all directions to get our child this far and for some reason whatever I was doing just didn’t seem to be enough.  I sulked in my bed for most of my birthday and didn’t want to be bothered by anyone. Milton hated seeing me this way (although he was very supportive) and said “let’s go for a ride and get some sunshine.”  It felt good to get out of the house.

Sunday, May 27 12:03am I start having contractions.  My contractions are usually on a pain scale of 1-10 a 2-3 but now they were more like a 4-5 and four minutes apart.  I call and they tell me to come in.  I really felt like it was finally going to happen.  We go in around 3:30am and they say they want to monitor me for four  hours.  The strength of my contractions decrease some, but I do start having major indigestion, heartburn and back pain.  Excruciating pain.  Like a 7-8.  Milton had to go back home and get me some tums.  Once he came back and I took some I was relieved and was able to sleep some.

At the end of four hours, although I was having contractions every 3-4 minutes, they weren’t strong enough for me to dilate any further so they sent me home.  The nurse once again said it could be any day now. Yeah, I’ve heard that plenty of times.

So now I’m back home, on bed rest and once again waiting.  Baby Turner is doing his own thing at his own pace.  One day my baby prince will come!

Mother’s To Be Day

Today Baby Turner has made it to 34 weeks. Each and every day is a blessing.  Although I thought I’d get off of bed rest this week, my doctor would like to keep me on for another week – so bed rest lives on.  It was a difficult transition at first because I went from being  in the hospital and having EVERYTHING done for me, to being at home and having just the opposite.  Luckily I have an AMAZING husband that has been there 100% of the way and has never complained.  I see how tired he is most nights, and a couple of times tried to help out.  But I was told to lay back down and bake a baby.

This morning, Mother’s Day, I woke up to the following post from Milton on my Facebook wall:

Michelle: I have watched you grow literally and figuratively over the past eight months. A little over a month ago, I got a call saying that you had been rushed to the hospital by ambulance because of pre-term labor. I rushed to the hospital not knowing whether our son would be OK at little over 2 lbs. You were told you couldn’t get out of bed for a month, but you used love, patience, and ingenuity to help our baby grow to more than twice his size. You beat the odds when even your doc didn’t think you could make it this long. All the while, you still ran three businesses from a hospital bed. I know it was hard and we shared a lot of tough times and contractions together, but you learned the great skill every great mom has: sacrifice. Mothers sacrifice everything they have for their kids and you are living, walking (ok, maybe waddling right now), talking proof that that nothing is more valuable. Thank you for giving our son a chance at a healthy life. Happy Mother’s Day, baby. I love you.

Of course it brought tears to my eyes. Milton helps me realize that being on bed rest is not just about being lazy all day, it’s about creating a safe haven for a developing baby.  Seven weeks ago my child try to make a special early appearance.  Seven weeks.  And for seven weeks I’ve helped slow down that process. Like Milton said, it’s the beginning of many sacrifices I’ll make.

Today was somewhat hard for me because I miss my mother.  Both of my parents are deceased and today brings up the realization that neither will be around to raise/spoil their grandchild.  My mother was one of the most amazing people you could meet.  I don’t say this just from personal experience, but everyone that met her said the same.  Even after her death, people were doing things to honor her.  Nobody can replace my mother, but luckily many of her friends have stepped in to do motherly things. Currently a group of them have started organizing a food delivery list so that Milton doesn’t have so much to do after working a 10 hour day (with a two hour commute). They have been a blessing.

What would have made my mother proud is that I reached out to them for help.  As an only child, one my my mother’s largest worries was that I didn’t reach out to people when I was in need and always tried to do everything by myself.  I’ve come to realize, though, that especially once I become a mother, I will need people’s support, love and advice more than ever.  Life is all about relationships.  Some are built over time and some are unexpected. My mother has an amazing legacy because of relationships she established with others.  I think I’m finally prepared to do the same.

You Are Not the Father

Although thus far I’ve been limited to two 20 minute wheelchair privileges a day, I was given an extended pass to be wheeled down into the basement for their 2 hour New Mothers class.  It was from 6:30-8:30pm and Milton attended with me.  It was the last session in their six week series and we didn’t know what they would be discussing.  As we wheeled our way down to room with able-bodied pregnant women, we were handed a baby doll (that looked nothing like us).  1) It was a baby girl 2) She had blue eyes 3) she had blonde hair.  Milton obviously is not the father, and either am I.

Topic of the day: Infant Massage.  Yes you read that correctly, we learned different techniques on how to massage our bundle of boy.  We learned the heart technique along with milk the cow and the airplane.  We can even help the baby get rid of gas.  I would have much rather learned how to change a diaper, suggestions for breastfeeding etc… but Milton and I left with a certificate of completion in Infant Massage.

Ruined Surprise

Milton said he had a surprise for me on March 31 and April 7.  I was actually very excited about the surprise and had no idea what he was planning.  He usually finds amazing restaurants for us to experience so I thought it was either that or he arranged for me to have a massage.

Of course all plans of a surprise were ruined once I entered my new island, also known as the bed.  I asked him what the surprise was going to be and he said that my friends were planning a surprise shower for me.  Ahh, this made me sad.  My college roommate DeShawn was even going to be flying in from Maryland.  I guess Baby Turner was trying to attend his own party, but I don’t think he understands that he wasn’t invited!

Well, about an hour after I had my fit about my closet sized room, the door to my room opened and in came my friend Renee with a bunch of baby blue balloons.  Shortly after came Tioka with a cake that had a monkey on it. Then Nikki soon followed with her two cute sons.  The brought the party to me and I was so happy they did. Not only was it good to see them, eat cake and open gifts – but I was surrounded by three women, each of which has two kids of their own.  They are each great mothers in their own unique way and I hope to use a piece of each of them in my own mothering skills.

I am most surprised that Milton was able to keep that secret without me having any clue whatsoever. I am married to a great man and have great friends and for that I am thankful!

 

 

Bed Rest Diaries

Once I was settled into my room, I started dealing with the reality that my regular life as I know it has changed.  My Type A personality came on and I had to get in major planning mode.  I called my friend and great Zumba instructor, Jessica, and she helped me get everything in place for the fitness studio.  I made a list of things for Milton to bring from the house.  I tried to explain in detail where each item is since I couldn’t be there to point it out.  I called all of my family and friends to let them know what had happened.  Everyone said to be strong.

Wednesday night and Thursday morning I was put on a clear liquid diet.  For those that don’t know what that consist of – chicken broth, apple juice, jello and italian ice. The first time I ate it, I actually looked forward to it since I hadn’t eaten in 10 hours.  I was still on strict bed rest and had to use a bedpan when I needed to urinate. Thursday was difficult because for the first time I was having to be dependent on everyone else. The bed was my island and all the action happened around me.

Thursday at lunchtime I had graduated to regular food.  For the meals here, you given a menu of foods and you can call down and decide what time you want to eat.  For my first meal i chose pizza (surprise) and chocolate cake.  It was good for the simple fact that I hadn’t eaten real food in 24 hours.

I had originally been on magnesium, but they stopped giving me that. The round the clock baby and contractions monitor was taken off and now they only monitor me twice a day. Freedom was mine – as long as I could do it from my bed.

The most difficult thing about Thursday and Friday was my concern for Milton. I experienced a major setback, but Milton experienced an even larger one with more emotion. Here both his wife and unborn child are rushed to a hospital, Milton is driving back and forth to the house to get all necessary items, when all he wants to do is be by my side.  Everything I’ve always done to maintain the household now falls on him.  He turned into the ultimate provider.  His job could tell how overwhelmed he was that they made him take Friday off – which was good for the both of us!